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January 17, 2021 7:00 pm  #11

Re: Completely Blindsided

MNBlindsided wrote:

No matter what I do or say, he wants to explore this side of him. .....

And I wish my partner was as decisive and determined as yours  
How about....can you stay somewhere else for the 3 weeks? I can always think more clearly when my partner's not around


KIA KAHA                       

January 18, 2021 12:31 pm  #12

Re: Completely Blindsided

MNBlindsided wrote:

I don't want to share his love with someone else. I deserve better.

You shouldn’t have to share his love with someone else, either. He is your husband. So, if you are not okay with sharing, I guess the next move is yours.

Take the next three weeks to gather yourself together and get some (probably) needed rest. Like Elle said, you might be able to think better without him around. 

Be good to yourself. (((((HUGS))))


January 19, 2021 10:45 am  #13

Re: Completely Blindsided

"The rest, I guess we do one day at a time.  Find time to journal, come here to talk, find a therapist if you haven't already, confide in a trusted friend or family member (my panic attacks decreased significantly when I finally told my sister), get plenty of rest, don't forget to eat healthy.  Start thinking about what you can do for your future.  Consider getting legal advise so you know what your options are when he returns and the discussion comes up. Knowledge is power.  I have started doing little things--getting my own bank account, a credit card without his name, working on my resume, combing through the finances little by little.  I may not be "ready" but I'm not feeling as desperate as I did in the beginning.  The more you take care of yourself, the better you will start to feel.  I haven't reached the point of happiness again, but I don't think it's unattainable." This Too Shall Pass

"Up Vote on that advice so concisely written.   Small baby steps each day,  they build and add up.  They help take some of the fear, anxiety, and lack of control away.    For those that feel stuck...small steps..you are not idle.  Whether it be years, months, weeks... there is no set time frame. ..small positive steps each day." Rob

I think both of these posts in "The First Aid Kit" would be invaluable for newcomers. A rundown on some great starting points in the process and an assurance that one step at a time, one day at a time is how you get out of the headspin. Worked for me. How could we make that happen?


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