OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- Ellexoh_nz
- Member
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Re: Completely Blindsided
MNBlindsided wrote:
No matter what I do or say, he wants to explore this side of him. .....
And I wish my partner was as decisive and determined as yours 
How about....can you stay somewhere else for the 3 weeks? I can always think more clearly when my partner's not around
Elle
KIA KAHA
- SusanneH
- Member
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Re: Completely Blindsided
I don't want to share his love with someone else. I deserve better.
You shouldn’t have to share his love with someone else, either. He is your husband. So, if you are not okay with sharing, I guess the next move is yours.
Take the next three weeks to gather yourself together and get some (probably) needed rest. Like Elle said, you might be able to think better without him around.
Be good to yourself. (((((HUGS))))
- MyExodus
- Member
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Re: Completely Blindsided
"The rest, I guess we do one day at a time. Find time to journal, come here to talk, find a therapist if you haven't already, confide in a trusted friend or family member (my panic attacks decreased significantly when I finally told my sister), get plenty of rest, don't forget to eat healthy. Start thinking about what you can do for your future. Consider getting legal advise so you know what your options are when he returns and the discussion comes up. Knowledge is power. I have started doing little things--getting my own bank account, a credit card without his name, working on my resume, combing through the finances little by little. I may not be "ready" but I'm not feeling as desperate as I did in the beginning. The more you take care of yourself, the better you will start to feel. I haven't reached the point of happiness again, but I don't think it's unattainable." This Too Shall Pass
"Up Vote on that advice so concisely written. Small baby steps each day, they build and add up. They help take some of the fear, anxiety, and lack of control away. For those that feel stuck...small steps..you are not idle. Whether it be years, months, weeks... there is no set time frame. ..small positive steps each day." Rob
I think both of these posts in "The First Aid Kit" would be invaluable for newcomers. A rundown on some great starting points in the process and an assurance that one step at a time, one day at a time is how you get out of the headspin. Worked for me. How could we make that happen?