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This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

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Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


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December 12, 2020 11:51 am  #1


Red Flags are Now Checkered

I can only imagine how jealous some might be of all the red flags that I have had as they should have
been checkered a long time ago. I am a woman of Faith. I believe God performs miracles, heck I am a
walking miracle. Had an undiagnosed potentially lethal arrhthmia for 23 years with symptoms and I'm
still here. We tried to pray the gay away back in 2003 (Exodus International anyone?). Seemed like we
were successful for several years; but now I can't keep myself too busy to acknowledge what is REALLY going on in my life.  I have made lemonade out out of the lemons that are the pandemic. I have time to think. Our lack of sex should have been a checkered flag. Telling me our lack of sex is due to it being boring when he never got his vasectomy should have been a checkered flag. Two different nights on business trips when he was unaccounted for (he took cold medicine-yeah right) should have been checkered flags. The "hidden" (not very well) gay porn should have been checkered. The man has slept on the couch for
22 years for crying out loud!!! He comes in about 6AM or so, when I'm fast asleep, too late to initiate sex.
The man made up some cockamamie (pun intended) story about the opening of his penis being too
small causing him to sometimes take longer in the bathroom to pee; but he never got around to having the simple procedure done. Long stints in the bathroom behind the locked door late at night after the
"hidden" gay porn should have been checkered. That he would get irritated at me when he was in the
shower and I unlocked the door to get things for our daughters to get ready for school is shady. Why
would my seeing him in the shower be a problem?? Was he doing something else?  Too many red flags that should have been checkered.

On September 25, 2020 my husband unknowingly brought out the biggest, most beautiful checkered
flag of all. He became angry at me for bringing up the time he was carjacked when he was the one to
say, "I once had to wear a cast; when was that?" I replied it was when he was carjacked. Problem was,
some details in the carjacking story had just changed and him being angry was peculiar. I discretely ordered the police report for myself and found out why he doesn't like to talk about it and why details had
changed. He had lied to the police, me and everyone else about where he had been that night, an adult bookstore. He later fessed up to the police; but never fixed the lie with me. I hypothesize that when he
had been honest and forthcoming and told me in 2003 his sad little lonely night in which he couldn't sleep
and went for one little drinkie-winkie and being seduced by a real charming guy (how much alcohol would a straight man need to be seduced by a man????) was truely him just walking into an adult bookstore and ordering what he wanted. Him being forthcoming was him being scared that he might be charged with
a misdemeanor or even a felony for lying to the police or him being scared that if they caught the guys
he might have to testify, under oath, and then I would find out. His being honest and telling me he had
a moment of vulnerable weakness was really just a flat-out bold-faced lie!!!! Forget TGT!!!!!!!!!! The lie that
my marriage/my forgiveness was based on. I forgave him and tried to save our marriage and what I got was lies!!!!!  Fie, not enough exclamation marks in the world for what he has done to me. Checkered mother-friggin flag already!!!!!!! I-am-done!!!!!!!

 

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