how long were you together?  my ex and I were together for a long time, again always knew something was wrong trying to fix it but no real idea that it was a complete charade.  until I was 57.  He would have been 61.

Maybe by that age it is round the mulberry bush one too many times and nowhere for them to hide any more.

TO, I have yet to hear of anyone going from a long term gay partner to a long term straight partner.  I get what you're saying - the people who come out of straight marriages and find gay partners are really gay in denial and not true bisexuals, but if bisexual literally means you are oriented both ways then why aren't there any gay to straight changes?

ah okay - I don't know one of the names you mentioned but I think David Bowie is generally thought of as being gay.  

that bisexual men marry the opposite sex does not surprise me, that doesn't mean they fancy women though.

I mean, I know it's very complex and for some - sorry time has gone away from me, must go will be back in a while

okay i am back.  yes um okay so yes very complex and if we straights think it's intense it sure must be straightforward compared to some of the more complex make ups where mating behaviours are not all aligned.

but I juat think there are some basics.  

I often think of Mervyn Peake with his push-me-pull-you animal.  He drew pictures and everything and the push-me-pull-you looks like a normal deer from the front but when you try and go round the back you find you are facing a head again.

As a way of expressing a feeling, a sense of being, it is fantastic.  It exactly captures that bewildering sense of not being able to come to grips with my ex that I felt in my marriage. 

As a way of depicting physical reality - no.  The food has to come out somewhere.  You can't have a face at both ends.  Not going to happen. two sets of feet wanting to walk forwards in opposite directions.  It's not a goer, is it.

and that is my understanding - it is a magnetic pull - there has to be a basic direction in sexual orientation. 

 

Last edited by lily (November 17, 2020 6:50 am)

"What age were you and your partner when you started questioning LGBTQ?" 

My husband and I were in our 60s.  Married for ten years.  I don't understand why he initiated a relationship with me (we met when we were in our 50s) given his sexual identity ambiguity.

We are divorced now and I have no contact with him.  A mutual friend told me he was using dating websites.  I hope he knows what he is looking for this time.  

Last edited by Leslie77 (November 17, 2020 8:02 am)

My husband was 66 & I was 64 when I first saw the CL ad on his iPad with the nude photo of a man. I only got that he liked having sex with both men and women then, but didn’t find out for sure that he was actively doing it until June 1, 2019, when he finally admitted to one . Then, after he realized I was serious about a polygraph, he told me about all the rest Nov 24, 2019. That was when I found out he’d been cheating our entire relationship. He’d been doing it since Boy Scouts. We’d been together 15 years when I first found it.