OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: The Holidays are coming
Since you know about their situation and they've been brave enough to tell you...to keep the lines of communication open why not ask them how everything is going.
When the Mindfuck happened in my r'ship, and I told a number of my family what was happening they were all sympathetic, great to confide in but there was a time when I wished somebody had asked how I was doing, was I okay? Of course the situation has moved on.
Just sitting them both down and ask how it's all going may make them feel more comfortable. Ask questions yourself
xx
KIA KAHA
- SadMom
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Re: The Holidays are coming
longaway, thank you for your response. I think you're right. When I first found out about what was happening, I texted him almost every day to ask how he was doing. He hardly responded, and that made me anxious, and I texted and called even more, worrying about his mental state. This made him feel pressure and he started avoiding me. At one point, he just said "please stop, I need space right now". So for the past several weeks, I have let him be the one to initiate contact, and he has really appreciated me stepping back. It's hard, but the last thing I want to do is cause him more stress and anxiety. So, I'm taking your advice and I will be watching him for cues, and letting him open up when he's ready. My heart goes out to you, and everyone here. And I really appreciate you taking the time to help me. xo
@elle, I would love to be able to talk with them both about how they are doing. I think right now, they're not quite ready. I've noticed when I ask about other things, they are both quite responsive. I will definitely present myself as open if they want to talk about it. Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement. Honestly, until I came on to this site, I didn't know how any of us would make it through this time. But you all have given me hope that I can be there for them and love them through it. hugs!
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Thread Starter- SadMom
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Re: The Holidays are coming
I can't even express how much I appreciate all of you for responding to my post. I'm so thankful for this site. I hope I can be helpful to someone going through this in the future. Much love to you all!
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Thread Starter- lily
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Re: The Holidays are coming
SadMom, like your son you are on a voyage of discovery as to the true nature of your daughter in law. Disclosure of sexual orientation really does affect us, it changes the map of the past as well as the present.
When she married your son it is only natural to accept her as a family member and someone you could embrace as a daughter, I feel for you too, it is your past and present changing alongside your son, it's your loss too.
Nothing wrong with taking your son's side. Nothing wrong with doing what you need to do to maintain access with him.
Last edited by lily (November 6, 2020 4:56 pm)