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August 19, 2020 9:16 am  #21

Re: Is He Bi, Gay, or What?

Blue Bear:  Thanks.  Full deflector shields are up.  Yes, I have answered my question - I'm going with "not straight" because I need to shut off my brain thinking down that rabbit hole.   Everything you wrote is so spot on that it could be me.  The enormous relief I feel is indescribable when I read posts like yours.  I'm so grateful for your insight.


October 4, 2020 11:11 pm  #22

Re: Is He Bi, Gay, or What?

manscaping doesn't mean cheating! 

it started with 70s gay porn and has since took a turn into mainstream self care.

 think that, for me, over-indulgence in body image, along with trimming of most of his man hair, for my husband, aligns with his "bisexual' if not "homosexual" self- this is not always the case though. my husband has cheated on me in the past w. women and came out to me as 'bi' - i completely believe him that no other cheating has happened. he, of his own free will, tells me every night how amazing he feels to be honest and i can ask him anything it's an ever progressing progression- you can hear other peoples stories but all stories aren't the same


October 11, 2020 5:16 pm  #23

Re: Is He Bi, Gay, or What?

@Jujubee, so glad you have gotten to the point of lawyering up and preparing for what is to come.  It doesn't matter what he is, if you aren't happy with how your relationship is, then time to get out.  It does make it seem easier if we "know" what their orientation is for sure.   By the time most straight spouses are asking that question, it is really pretty far down the line for our partners in their journey and acting on their desires in some way - emotional betrayals will have already happened even if physical cheating has not - and usually they aren't in a place to enlighten you because they have nothing to gain from honesty at that point.... or any point really, especially if you allow such an unequal situation!!  Go get what is fair for you. 
@amgc oh yea, my GIDX was manscaping for years and I was in the dark.  He also felt so exhilarated once he told me about his affair with a woman, mainly because it was his "proof" he wasn't gay.... uh yea we are all different, but also we are all the same too.  Homophobia is pretty standard and bi is easier to admit.  But to admitting to cheating is hard....and it sounds like he is already adept at betraying you, so I wish you well and hope you are one of the rare lucky ones who has a suddenly reformed, and completely honest spouse. 


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