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Hi Dutchman,
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Initially my husband and I agreed to change nothing, but consider all possible options... divorce, open marriage, him having one person on the side, us both having one person on the side, etc... after considering all possibilities for the last 8 months we’ve both come to the conclusion that we will continue our monogamous marriage. I know for a fact, after considering the other possibilities, that anything other than a monogamous marriage, as I initially signed up for 22 years ago, would ruin me. My husband knows that not everyone gets everything they want In life. My husband recognizes this was a want on his part and certainly not a need. We are closer than we’ve been in quite a few years now that he’s revealed his true self and he knows that I accept him as he is.
Thank you again for sharing your words of wisdom from your experience.
Tangled
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I joined monMOMs a while back when it was active. There seemed to be a group of people making their marriages work, which encouraged me to try. The advice I received was not to make any hasty decisions and give myself at least 2 years to see how the marriage evolved.
They warned that there is a "honeymoon period" where things will be wonderful and I will need to see how we move beyond that stage. I think in SNN the terminology is "love bomb" ?
We definitely had a honeymoon period and it was wonderful.
Before I joined SSN I went back to monMOMs to get some advice but thay had been inactive a long time. Curious to know what happened to all those couples.
HUGS - is for husbands only who are in MOMs. My husband joined at my urging but he said that most of the discussions are about how to get around the wife & cheat so he didn't want to be part of the group.
I hope you find the support you need. Take Care.
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Thank you broomhilda2. I’ve decided that I’m really best off with avoiding most groups and articles. My husband has no interesting in reading any more articles about failing MOMs either. I guess what I was looking for was more positivity, but it’s been challenging to find. We are 8 months out from disclosure, even though I knew on some level our entire 28 year relationship. We are in a really good place and we’ll just keep talking and working on us.
Thank you again,
Tangled