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- lily
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
UserNada wrote:
Nada, I am curious - what do you see your recovered marriage looking like?
It is really hard to know right now. I want the relationship I (thought) had, with me dedicated to my wife and her dedicated to me. Her coming out/being shoved out has had the result of her spending a lot of time soul searching, apologizing, and being clear with me that she is attracted to women, but not in any real need of being with them sexually, and being totally sexually, emotionally, and romantically attracted to me. Who knows another person's heart? Well, I made it very clear to her many times that I am willing to let her go, or rather, I begged her to go, if she didn't really want me or believed she would rather be with a woman. She refused, saying she absolutely does want me and does not want a woman. I can only hope she is honest. Time will tell.
I don't want to take over this thread with my own issues concerning my relationship, which are not few. To go from "my wife is perfect and I look forward to seeing her every time" to "my wife makes me uncomfortable and I am scared most the time" in a period of a few weeks is quite a shift. I am going back the other way now, where I am regaining comfort and affection again.
Hi Nada,
oh okay so head spinning time. sorry to hear that but I can very much relate to wanting the comfort of the familiar. fear is sometimes our friend more than anything though.
wishing you the best of luck, Lily
ps I have to say it seems unlikely to me your wife will let you go, she will want to keep both you and the girlfriend.
Last edited by lily (April 14, 2020 4:55 pm)
- UserNada
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
My wife doesn't have a girlfriend, Lily. I think you may have me confused for someone else.
- Blue Bear
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
Are you OK with infidelity?
Are you OK with knowing that your spouse is not 100% attracted to you the way you deserve?
Get to a lawyer, start unscrambling your life, and start moving toward the life you deserve. Because this isn’t it.
- HisBeard96
- New member
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
........Everything we have is tied in the businesses together.
Have you seen a lawyer yet? a counselor? Have you told many people about your situation?
Have not contacted a lawyer yet. Working towards a counselor but with social distancing, it is a factor right now. There is one close friend I have confided in who knows the whole situation. Another knows certain things, but not everything.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
.......Have not contacted a lawyer yet. Working towards a counselor but with social distancing, it is a factor right now. There is one close friend I have confided in who knows the whole situation. Another knows certain things, but not everything.
Secrets kill relationships. The more people I told...the more people I decided to trust...helped dilute the secret and made it a reason to want out rather than keeping me in the r'ship thinking I had to make it work. Finding a good counselor and telling her/him my story was the first move to untie the knots that had held me silent for so long thinking I was alone in this
KIA KAHA
- lily
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
My wife doesn't have a girlfriend, Lily. I think you may have me confused for someone else.
sorry Nada,
er, I haven't actually got you confused with someone else - when you first arrived you said you didn't want to disclose the details of how her bisexuality came up. then the next thing was that you had realised she was lying, again not wanting to disclose details and were going to spend a few days with your father.
so no I had remembered your posts and I should have been clear that I was using conjecture in referring to a girlfriend - it was just a guess but that is not clear, it doesn't sound like that in my post.
that is the way I meant it though. It isn't just the stories I read here, it is the people around me and it was my experience too.
so that's what's behind my guess. Not from anything you said.
Last edited by lily (April 15, 2020 2:09 pm)
- LostIdentity
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
HappyNow- what you wrote here, gave me so much validation and hope. That there is light at the end of this dark tunnel
"Your value does not decrease based upon someone's inability to see your worth."
- HappyNow
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
LostIdenity, I am glad. That’s why I write here and share! I believe many of us are in the same starting point when we are discovering our entire marriage was a lie. It’s devistating!
If you wanna speak privately, I’m happy to walk you through it.
- Jonathan
- New member
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
I’m a straight man. Found this group Monday when my wife confessed to a lesbian attraction to a women at work. As a non confused straight man, not sure I could suck a dick with a gun to my head. I’m very new to all this, but offer my opinion as a straight man. Can’t see this getting anything but worse.
- HappyNow
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Re: Accepting Straight Male That Enjoys Sex with Men
Jonathan,
Firstly I am so sorry to hear that you’re new on the club that none of us wanted to be in. AND as someone who is 7 years post discovery I promise you that there is a possibility of an amazing life after this discovery and after this marriage that you can’t even imagejne yet. 🙏 it will take time, but it’s possinble And there are many people here who have been through it, you are NOT alone and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Bless your heart. I’m so sorry you have to be here with us