Oneday,

Its hard..so very hard..i was not quaranteened back then but I lived it...the GX acting like super mom but not wearing her wedding rings anymore.

They show us who they are by their actions toward us..not how they treat the kids.  My,gx was perfectly evil,treating the kids well but me like shit all in the same minute..how they maintain that behavior separation is something we,need to learn..it doesnt come,naturally to honest and empathetic people like ourselves.

I say, you have a use for him..dressed up,as a girl,or not..he can watch the kids and give you a break..use him,for that..but dont think his actions constitute a change in his true feelings and beliefs about you.

We need to find a use for these hurtful spouses..otherwise what good are they..

As of midnight 25th March New Zealand's borders are closed except for residents returning. My country is in Lockdown for at least 4 weeks, probably longer. 

Which means being in lockdown with somebody I've lived and loved for 35 years but with whom I am no longer in a sexual r'ship with. I guess we're now flatmates and I AM lucky that his insular/introverted nature means this difficult time will pass with us in more of a friendship. 
I used to wonder who he called/emailed/met when he was at work. But today, working from home in his office set up on the kitchen table, on a conference call with colleagues I have to keep telling myself " it does not matter....anymore" 

It's strange having one's daily routine broken and having to stay in the "bubble" with him for the foreseeable future

KIA KAHA everybody....Elle

OutofHisCloset wrote:

These boards have seen a number of new posters in the past week or two,........Stay safe.  

 

Yip OOHC.....I've noted that too. I expect the world....and in turn individual straightspouse situations.....will be very different on the other side of this when priorities adjust themselves in the minds and hearts of those who have been indecisive about where and with who they want to be
 

A lot of marriages are MOMs, I reckon it's maybe 50%?  something around that in the people I know.  

We are increasingly staying home here.  The worst of the panic buying is over and there is food in the shops.  I just went and did some shopping, lots of people with scarves wrapped round their face and people wearing gloves as well as sanitisers in every shop.  Not many shops will be left open after this week.  Just food and petrol pretty much.  Glad I went to town today as I wanted to buy some nice linen sheets.  And today I heard we have some cases here in my area,  7 last week, 17 this week.

it is so eerie, such a profound change and the feeling that things will not go back to normal again.  but so far I am enjoying staying curled up at home.  My little brain simply curls up at the thought of doing it with my ex.  So glad I am in my own home.  being a complete sook at the moment.

all the best, everyone.  Lily

thanks Elle.  yes one little microbe has changed the world, hasn't it.  it is strange for all of us.

and finally something that demands attention beyond the split in the human psyche that is expressed in a MOM.  I don't see that term as a label - it's simply what it is, mixed orientation marriage.  

For me the pain of being in a MOM is receding into the past.  The consequences still hurt as much as ever but that scrudgy pain is gone, and went from day one of moving out.  I did 15 years sleeping on the sofa before I left so I know it goes beyond the bed.  It is the emotionality of a MOM - and it goes more and more toxic.  stopping the physical relations helped enormously but it wasn't until I moved into my own home that that pain and confusion of a MOM stopped.