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  •  » Why is he in denial?

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    March 3, 2020 1:38 pm  #1

    Mam7172
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    Why is he in denial?

    Long story short I found my husband at another mans home he openly admitted to finding him at a gay hook up site. When he was caught he confessed he had been on this gay site for months but he isn’t gay. He went to counseling and a therapist told him he might be bisexual but he leans towards women.  He was sexually assaulted as a child so he is acting out the same scenario and keeping it secret. So I tired to make the marriage work but he was so angry all the time and I found he kept secrets of random things. So I left. About two weeks after I left I caught him again, at a gay mans home where I suspect he was a third for a gay sex party.
    Will he ever “come out?”  Do straight men hook up and have random sex encounters with men?  This is so confusing.

     

    March 3, 2020 7:29 pm  #2

    MJM017
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    Re: Why is he in denial?

    In my opinion, straight men have no interest in sex with another man. It may be best for your healing to stay away from this husband you left. I think he is stringing you along. He wants you to remain his beard so he doesn’t have to look for a new one.

    Best wishes to you.

    No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
     

    March 3, 2020 8:14 pm  #3

    Daryl
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    Re: Why is he in denial?

    I would also agree that straight men have zero interest in hooking up with another guy. When someone starts keeping small things secret, you have to wonder what else is being hidden? No one should have to live in an atmosphere of anger. Trust yourself. Words are not as important as actions.

    “The future is unwritten.”
    ― Joe Strummer
     

    March 3, 2020 10:35 pm  #4

    Rob
    Member

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    Re: Why is he in denial?

    As a straight man..  No..  straight guys have no interest in gay hook up sites, gay porn, or gay curiosities.   
    Any story you get from your guy is a lie.    Therein lies the horrible thing about TG...not just mindf*ck of 
    them having same sex attraction but all the lies and hurt they have no problem disehing out to people they claim to love.  Anger was my GXs response to everything and anything.   
    To this day as far as I know (could care less) she has not "come out".  Her and her girlfriend are just two divorced ladies comforting each other from their horrible husbands.   

    "For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
     

    November 18, 2022 8:22 am  #5

    Pinklady
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    Re: Why is he in denial?

    Rob wrote:

    As a straight man..  No..  straight guys have no interest in gay hook up sites, gay porn, or gay curiosities.   
    Any story you get from your guy is a lie.    Therein lies the horrible thing about TG...not just mindf*ck of 
    them having same sex attraction but all the lies and hurt they have no problem disehing out to people they claim to love.  Anger was my GXs response to everything and anything.   
    To this day as far as I know (could care less) she has not "come out".  Her and her girlfriend are just two divorced ladies comforting each other from their horrible husbands.   

    Hi rob I am so sorry for what you’ve been through.

    I hope you could kindly answer a question I have.

    One of the red flags for me was when I walked into the bathroom and saw my husband masturbating while watching something on his phone. ( I know masturbating is completely normal and didn’t think too much of it ) I didn’t see what it was and I didn’t ask to see. But I did ask what he was watching. First he said a woman showing her boobs. Then he asked me “how do you know it weren’t a man?” Is this a question that would ever cross a straight man’s mind to ask his wife?

    This was 2 weeks after he’s been to a sauna and been “sexually assaulted” by a man.

     

     

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