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1 of 1- StraightSpouse1979
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February 22, 2020
So, today the one thing that is prevelent on my mind is my daughter's read across America week at her kindergarden school. The notice came home in her folder and i opened it first and held it captive. Signed myself up and didnt even tell her dad. Is that wrong? I dont want him there reading to her class in his current outward appearance. I dont trust he wont go full makeup and tight clothing and just wear his silver hoops and be inappropriately dressed for that occasion. Even in somewhat non insane outfit choices he still looks like a giant drag queen and I dont want him to read to her class. I know he is her dad and has a right to have this opportunity but i can only protect her so much because there is not much I can control but this i can control. Does that make me horrible?
- Abby
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Re: February 22, 2020
Nope. Your daughter is in a kindergarten class with many other pupils, some of whose parents may not yet have discussed transgendered people with them. These parents choose whether or not to take their child to a library's "Drag Queen" reading events but it would be unfair to for your husband to spring this on the teacher, these others children - and your daughter. Since he seems to be thinking only of himself from what you have written previously someone has to be the responsible adult.
That said, since he is not going to stop feminizing his appearance so at some point you are going to have to have "the talk" with her so that she can figure out how she feels about this and how she wants to address it with her friends.
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
- Abby
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Re: February 22, 2020
Delete that misplaced "to" please.
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
- Rob
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Re: February 22, 2020
Definitely dont let him go to her school like that. You did the correct thing.
My GX has/had the sick advantage that she and her girlfriend could appear at school events as two friends.
It boggles my mind that he would not care what he looks like for his daughter. That they will hurt their own kids. Your daughter needs you now more than ever.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- MJM017
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Re: February 22, 2020
This is definitely not a “need to know” event in your daughter’s life. I don’t think it will register as such with your daughter either- don’t think she will tell dad about it.
I never had this situation, so this is an uninformed suggestion. Tell him sternly to dress professionally, like he is going to work, at future “have to be there” school functions. This is meant to set a non-negotiable boundary for him. No need to fight, but make it clear this is one line he cannot cross.
I‘m in a very liberal area where we have many transgendered people in the workforce. No one dresses like they are going clubbing, natal gender or not. It’s inappropriate, distracting, and against all company dress codes.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: February 22, 2020
MJM,
And what is her next move to be when he doesn't adhere to her boundary? Setting a boundary doesn't guarantee the other person will respect it. Her husband has shown (as have many of our husbands who are feminizing) time and time again that he will do whatever he wants whenever he wants no matter the effects on his wife and his daughter. SS1979 keeps wanting him to acknowledge the pain he is causing or the position he is putting her in and he DOES NOT CARE. He has not and never will take either SS1979 or their daughter into account.
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (February 23, 2020 6:45 pm)
- MJM017
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Re: February 22, 2020
He may not, but it’s my style/personality to keep at something that needs to be changed. It’s not great for SS1979, but their daughter is a little kid. This is much worse for her. Dad needs to be made aware, over and over if need be, he may be harming her.
It’s not difficult for the gender euphoria to be suspended temporarily for the kid.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa