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1 of 1- HurtAndConfused
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Just venting I suppose
Something I realized is that the pain we feel is due to the abrupt change in what we thought our lifes were, who our partners were. My ExGH finds it so hard to understand why I am so upset, why so many tears when I talk about this situation. For me, its the the "death" of someone I truly and deeply loved. With that comes grief, anger, self doubt, tons of questioning yourself. "Is there something wrong with me? How could I love someone so deeply who was only giving me a piece of themselves?" I used to be this bubbly hopeless romantic and now...I'm a mess who doesnt trust anyone. I dont want any attention or for anyone to get close to me. For him, it's a transformation of the caterpillar to a butterfly which lends itself to a more beautiful ending...
- Leslie77
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Re: Just venting I suppose
No, there is nothing wrong with you. It is traumatizing when someone you think you knew turns out to be something totally different. Maybe your ex is rationalizing that you shouldn't be upset, because that is a better alternative to him than feeling guilty.
Your feelings are yours and should not be discarded or trivialized.
The other day I was looking at a newspaper advertisement for a drag queen show. It had a photo of a person dressed as an exaggerated female. I looked at it and thought, "This is what my husband finds more attractive than me". It made me feel so sad and alone. But I know I'm going to get through this.
I hope you are on the road to some sort of recovery, although I suspect this is something that none of us ever truly gets over.
- HurtAndConfused
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Re: Just venting I suppose
Leslie77 wrote:
No, there is nothing wrong with you. It is traumatizing when someone you think you knew turns out to be something totally different. Maybe your ex is rationalizing that you shouldn't be upset, because that is a better alternative to him than feeling guilty.
Your feelings are yours and should not be discarded or trivialized.
The other day I was looking at a newspaper advertisement for a drag queen show. It had a photo of a person dressed as an exaggerated female. I looked at it and thought, "This is what my husband finds more attractive than me". It made me feel so sad and alone. But I know I'm going to get through this.
I hope you are on the road to some sort of recovery, although I suspect this is something that none of us ever truly gets over.
Thank you for your reply Leslie. I feel the same way. It recks my brain trying to figure out what he sees in these drags/trans women. For my GIDH, I think its the sexualization of women. Big boobs, lingerie, these people beg for the attention (at least the ones he seeks out for) he wants them to just meet and bang and in most cases that wouldnt happen with a women. Just meet up, have sex and leave. Every time. He told me the other day that he wants someone who is only concerned with him, not someone who has to think and do things for our kids, parents etc. He even admitted that its selfish but that's what he wants. A little slave in a sense. What a jerk.
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