OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- UserNada
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Re: I feel so lonely...
You aren't as alone as it seems. I am a straight (thought, physical reaction, word, and deed) man. I still know what you are describing - grief upon grief. The world looks dead and empty - like a live horror show.
Being here and going to a support group have shown me that, even though I can't really see it for myself yet, I know of people who got through these little pits of hell and made their lives worth living again - for themselves and many found straight guys that could fully appreciate them in ways they never enjoyed before. I hope the best for you (and for myself), as these terrible times get behind us.
- Carolagatti
- New member
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Re: I feel so lonely...
Gonzo2000. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I have never felt this sad and lonely in all my life. It means so much to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: I feel so lonely...
Carolagatti wrote:
Just needed some words of encouragement.......
I'm going to step away somewhat from the advice to "be gentle with yourself".....and say " praying will only get you so far. It's in your hands to change this" Your 'room-mate' won't change anything, you've allowed him to become comfortable, thinking you won't leave.....which is a good space to be in because he won't be expecting you to leave.
If you have talked to nobody about this....somebody else' secret that you're keeping....that's where you need to start. Family, friends, a counselor?
It's there, inside you, the strength to leave this man you're allowing to live the way he wants.....and not the way you deserve. Step by step, day by day. No matter how long it takes...if you're going forward you're not standing still. As long as you're standing still nothing will change
Elle
KIA KAHA
- lily
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Re: I feel so lonely...
"...many found straight guys that could fully appreciate them in ways they never enjoyed before"
This, UserNada.
It's the same the other way round too. A straight woman is really different to a bisexual. It is profound. When I look at a bisexual woman playing the role of wife I can sense it is empty calories on offer and I know from my own long experience with a gay spouse how the lack of nutrition or emotional sustenance stacks up.
This is why I maintain a straight needs a straight. We need someone who is into us as much as we are into them.
Self care is good, it helps to ease the emotional deficit - just this little thing or that, it adds up. even if it is I am going to spend this afternoon curled up on my bed because I hurt too much to do anything, it is soothing. taking charge of your own emotional well being again - to a straight that is like the end of the marriage but it is survival kicking in.
- Rob
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Re: I feel so lonely...
Carolagatti,
I've been through this know how horrible it is...i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy..i try to post here to offer some words of encouragement.
I started on the bottom in complete tell and can say im away from my GX and doing so much better. What i found was I was good company to myself..i did not huet myself. Sometimes we need to be the lone wolf.
On the subject of having a gay or bisexual spouse..i could not do it..the stress and anxiety caused me to,physically shake..was she meeting a friend to shop or ha e sex..why should I have to wonder?
Small,baby steps..always forward..
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7