My wife and I just hit our 2 year anniversary on December 2nd. For a little back story before getting into details about the present.

Around February 2018, my wife had told me that she was interested in experimenting with females. I took that as in she was curious about them in bed. So we talked about it and decided to invite other females into bed with us. But only for the pleasure. I mean, what guy wouldn’t say yes to his wife asking him to bring other females into the bedroom. It wasn’t a weekly thing. But more like once every few weeks. And in every instance, once the bedroom fun was over, these girls would leave and it would just be my wife and I showering or hanging out on the couch watching a movie or cuddling in bed. Never once did she question herself or question if she was gay. The last time we had another female join us in bed was around November 2018 or so.

Fast forward to May 1st, 2019. I leave for a 7 month deployment. Before I left I told her that if she wanted to she could go do her own thing so long as there wasn’t a guy involved. She agreed and promised no guys. I leave and yeah, the 7 months apart were hard and I missed her like crazy. But the thought of coming home to her made everything okay. The entire time I was gone, I constantly got emails and letters from her telling me how much she missed me and how much she couldn’t wait for me to be home. Talking about having kids and about our future together when I got home. Fast forward again to about November 15th 2019. I’m in Hawaii for our last stop before getting home to San Diego on the 21st. She’s still telling me she wants my babies and that she loves me and that she’s excited for me to come home. She’s got a outfit picked out, getting her nails done, getting her hair done, getting waxed.

I get home the 21st and she meets me so I can put all my gear in the bed of my truck. Before I even reach the truck she’s running to me with tears in her eyes saying that she loved me and missed me so much and was happy I was finally home. I held her and she held me. We got in the truck and sat there for a while because I had to hang out for a few hours until everyone else got back as well. So we decided to hop in the back seat for a little high school era fun and we had sex in the back seat. First time we had sex in 7 months and it was great. She was into it. We finally got to leave a few hours later and got home and got in the shower and had sex again which then made its way to the bed. After which we cuddled and fell asleep. Between November 21st and the afternoon of December 6th everything was fine. The night of the 6th is when everything turned upside down.

I had found out that while I was gone, she met this one gay girl and they became friends. Over time this girl caught feelings for my wife and told her. I’m assuming after 7 months of them hanging out my wife got attached to her as well. Because that’s how she is, she gets attached easily to people. Once I found out though. She stopped having sex with me. She doesn’t kiss me. She doesn’t tell me she loves me first. And I’ll explain that more in details.

So I’ll tell her that I love her. And she’ll say it back. But she won’t say it first. I’ll kiss her and she’ll accept the kisses, but she won’t initiate them. We still sleep in the same bed and she cuddles up to me every night. She tells me she loves me and that she still wants our marriage and that she’s still happy with me. But at the same time she basically refuses to delete the pictures of her and this other girl or get rid of her on all social media. But then will turn around and swear up and down that our marriage and myself are the most important things to her. I’m trying everything I possibly can to save our marriage and she says she’s trying as well. But it’s hard for her to love me because she’s struggling. And to me, from my point of view, I can’t help but think maybe she’s not gay. That maybe she’s just telling herself that because she got attached to this other girl. And that maybe this other girl sort of manipulated her into thinking she was full blown gay. Because to me, I don’t understand how she can go from one day saying she wants babies with me and wants forever with me. To the next saying she’s gay and that’s she’s trying.

And I’m also confused because like I said, she said that she 100% wants this marriage and that she wants me. That she loves me and enjoys being with me. That she likes my kisses. She says all of this. But doesn’t actively do any of it.

Sorry for this being so long. But having no one to talk to in person and finally finding a place where I can just let everything out just kind of gets the mind flowing. Thank you to anyone who actually reads this all the way through.