If your husband has acknowledged that he is gay and you are divorcing it means that he is moving on with his life. While you may want to remain friends he is going to make new ones and may even already have a special someone. His interests may change too and you may have less in common,

Like you we have children together. We live in different communities post-divorce but have remained amicable, for which both children have thanked me. What was important for me in my healing was to recognize that our past relationship was dead. No funeral, no casseroles and no insurance but my husband was absolutely gone. And following the example of my hardy ancestors who outlived two and  three husbands I decided that was not going to spend too long in mourning.

You wrote "And now i am just so alone" and that sums it up.  In your own time you will need to start writing the next chapters of your life and adding new friends and experiences. As you move forward the past naturally recedes.

You don't need to be angry but do allow yourself a future that does not revolve around him.

Abby wrote:

You don't need to be angry but do allow yourself a future that does not revolve around him.

I agree with Abby. You're still centering him like you're still married to him. From your post it sounds like he already has a new same-sex spouse. Why are you still trying to wife for him? He has someone new who can or at least should be doing that for him.

Not your job anymore! He's moving on. Where's your support? This is why you feel so alone. You are still giving to someone who can't give back what you need. It doesn't mean it's malicious on his part. It's probably habit after so many years together but not healthy for either of you long-term. Especially you. Recognizing this has very little to do with anger.

Anger isn't a dirty word. It's basically pain resulting from a wrong. It bothers me a little to be told I'm bitter for feeling it when someone lied to me and hurt me. If you don't feel that way I'm genuinely happy for you but it doesn't make anger at this stuff an invalid response. It's just not your response. It seems to me you are still grieving. You may skip over anger altogether as you heal! Not a bad thing!

I think if you want to remain friends with your former spouse that's up to you and good for you if you manage it. But friends have appropriate boundaries. It might be a good idea to work on some, seek some therapy, and start trying to get in touch with who you are outside of those roles of friend and mother. You don't deserve to feel alone. You deserve a good life too!