I have recently just become a new member of Straight Spouse. I have been dealing with an ungodly amount of pain and have found my way here to try and put to words how I feel and to seek advice on how to deal with this. I feel as if my world had come crashing down on me and I am in need of some help on how I can move past this in a way where I can heal and still be supportive of my now ex-boyfriend. 
 
My boyfriend and I had been together for over two years. We had met when he came over to Canada from Australia on exchange. We were immediately attracted to one another. Not long after we had become close, we started dating even though we knew he would be going back to Australia at some point. After many long nights and talking about whether or not we would try and make it work, we decided that we would try the long-distance relationship. Everything was perfect. We never fought, we trusted each other, we had great communication and I had never been happier before. We have always been open and honest with each other. We both grew up in Catholic households and attended catholic schools. I have stronger beliefs, whereas he is more agnostic. After being together for nearly a year, he had come to me crying one night and came out to me as bisexual. I was shocked, confused and a little upset that he waited to tell me after we started dating instead of before. It went against my beliefs and I never thought I was open to being with someone who was not heterosexual. We didn’t break up and it took us a couple of days to talk about it and for me to process it but, I loved him more than anything and I wasn’t going to let something like that get in the way. At the end of the day, he treated me better than I could ever ask for and he loved me more than anyone ever had. Throughout this time, I had flown over to see him and he had come back to see me. Even though the distance was hard on us, we lived our own lives and were able to still incorporate each other and take the time to talk every day. We have always been crazy about each other and him more so than me. Because of the distance, it was always hard to have that intimate part of our relationship but, every time we were lucky enough to be together everything was great and we also connected with each other in and out of the bedroom. It wasn’t till a couple of days ago when everything came falling apart. Everything was perfect till I woke up the next morning to a call saying we needed to talk, and something was wrong. I answer the phone to him crying again and he asked me if I just wanted him to come out and say it right away. I had no idea what to expect. He told me that he had been thinking and has come to realize that he is not bisexual but, he is gay. He began to apologize over and over again. I was at a loss for words and had no idea what to say. I had become protective of him and would get very offended when hearing rude comments about the LGBT community. All I wanted was for him to be happy. I love him so much I have no anger or any negative emotion towards him. I told him it will be ok, and I will support him no matter what but, where does that leave me? He tells me everything he has ever said to me has been true from loving and caring for me to us being intimate. I feel confused, hurt and I don’t know what I can do to try and fix any of this. It breaks me, even more, knowing I can’t do anything to get him back. I lost my best friend and I have been miserable over the past couple of days. We still have been really open with how we are both feeling throughout this situation and communicating. I just don’t know how to say how I feel. I have a million thoughts and doubts going through my head. I can’t wrap my head around how we were together, and it seemed so real. I can’t seem to get anything out on how I feel because the moment we start talking I break down. I don’t know what I can do to understand this better or to even help myself start to move on. I feel betrayed and I’m scared. I also carry a lot of guilt. I wish I would have told him I loved him more when he still felt the same. I do completely support him and understand where he is coming from. There is so much support for him and ways for him to start this new journey, but no one ever really talks about where that leaves the straight partner.