I haven't posted a topic before but I had a dream recently that pretty much reflects exactly how I'm feeling lately. I thought I might share and that others might have some similar experiences/dreams to share or it might help someone somehow.

It started with me being in a room full of people. I was alone. Feeling alone but this is pretty common for me so not abnormal. Whatever the event was, it was over, and everyone was leaving. I was preparing to go when I saw him on the other side of the building separated by people. I wanted with my whole heart to go talk to him, to be with him, but I knew that I couldn't, that nothing had changed, and that I should leave before he saw me, because if I didn't then I wouldn't have the strength to go. The crowd started to thin and I was afraid. I exited with a small group, escaping his notice. I was walking quickly, knowing he was behind me and wanting to avoid him catching up to me. I didn't want to hurt him by ignoring him if he spotted me. I was sad leaving him behind. I wanted it to not be true, to turn around, but I kept walking. Somehow, my pace slowed, like I couldn't go any faster. I tried harder. I could feel him getting closer. The force pushing against me increased. I was panicking now. I needed to escape. Something grabbed me from behind and I fell like a little child does and started to cry. I woke up.

I cried upon waking. It's pretty obvious to me what this dream was about. That I'm stuck and trying to move on. That I miss him or who I thought he was but there's no future. That I'm conflicted and still depressed. Still lonely. I'm making progress but it's slow and still hurts. I fall sometimes and don't want to get up anymore. That I'm trying to escape the situation without causing pain. It's just so hard. Even just mentally trying to break that emotional connection. Anyway, I needed to share. Thought you'd understand. Best wishes to everyone.