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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
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    September 5, 2019 9:25 am  #11

    a_dads_straight_journey
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    Re: Why is it so hard to walk?

    E86,
    Glad to offer support. It sounds as if your decision to move on is building. Just a reminder to do some logistics homework before you broach the subject with your spouse. Consult an attorney, maybe more than one, to find out how both your state laws work and how your county court operates and what your life can look like on the other side. Also, you feel some compassion for him right now, but do not be generous in the divorce. You can always give more than you’d agreed to later but you can’t give less than you agree to legally.

    On the future, yes, joyless describes life well with a GID spouse. And the straight spouse gets blamed for joy’ s absence. 

    You will know the difference immediately when you find a partner to love you the way you deserve to be loved. You will find joy there.  Every couple has differences, and conflicts, but healthy relationships navigate those productively, and joy, love, and touch are at the foundation of such relationships.

    All the best as you move forward,

    ADSJ

    Last edited by a_dads_straight_journey (September 5, 2019 9:26 am)

     

    September 22, 2019 2:47 pm  #12

    Leah
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    Re: Why is it so hard to walk?

    You are doing the right thing.  Don’t doubt yourself.  It is hard.  And it is a mindf*ck for sure when they are in denial.  I doubted myself for so long and stayed after so many reveals wasting so much of my energy because I was simply too afraid to believe that what the evidence showed clearly.  It is hard to leave someone you have been with for a long time.  And loved.  Be easy on yourself. 

    Best wishes!

    Been here, wrote about it here 
    https://medium.com/@ModernAcu/hiding-from-your-straight-spouse-b787f13f6ff
     

     

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