Straight Spouse Network Open Forum
This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else. Learn more >>>

DONATE TODAY >>>

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

DONATE TODAY >>>





Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


Happy New Year, Friends!

Our year-end fundraising campaign is officially complete and with your generous help we raised $13,813 to serve straight spouses in need. From all of us at SSN, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.

BE A DONOR >>>

You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



July 22, 2020 1:25 pm  #31


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

A few years ago, he and a friend went to a costume shop after Halloween and he bought a red women's wig. He later showed me a picture of him in a dress with the wig on. He wanted to wear the wig and dress to a party but I talked him out of wearing the dress. Young man that he made advances to told me that he often puts the wig on. He put it on and ran across the street one day to talk to someone he knew at a public place. All of these years, I thought that he was eccentric. He may start singing in another language when we are in public. All of his male friends seem to understand it. I see so many signs now after joining this support group.  Love of opera and classical music-maybe   I told him a few years ago that I could not understand bi sexual people. I think you have to be one way or another. He said he thinks everyone is born bi sexual . Told me he had a friend that stopped having sex with woman and switched to men because they were less trouble. He was really into the movie about the gay cowboys. His attempts at intercourse seemed clumsy at first. Kisses me closed mouth or not at all. Asked me to rub his nipples a few times. I personally thought it was odd that he and his deceased wife did not have  intercourse the two years they dated before marriage.They met the year after the summer of love. 

 

July 22, 2020 3:10 pm  #32


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Gloria wrote:

Ellexhoh, thank you for the response. I have been awake since four and can't sleep lately. My emotional needs are not being met at all. I am trying to hang on but it is so hard. He is taking a 17 year old boy to his vacation home. I will have to stay here and feed his cats. I warned the boy's uncle about what could happen. He got into bed with a 28 year old man last June 6th and my life will never be the same.

 

Gloria....I'm editing this with a suggestion that you start your own discussion on the Support Board where the responses from others will be specifically for your particular situation  

I read in another of your posts that you have trouble sleeping when he's not with you, and you say your emotional needs are not being met. Your husband sounds like he doesn't care what you think of what he does or how he expresses himself even down to who he has in his bed.
Have you had any STI tests? 
Are you dependent on your husband? 
Do you have anywhere you can go to get away for awhile....family, friends?

This man does not care for you

Elle

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (July 22, 2020 3:15 pm)


KIA KAHA                       
 

July 22, 2020 3:23 pm  #33


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Thank you for the response. He's not my legal husband but I do spend four nights a week with him. He is quite a bit older. I cannot say that I am staying for the children but there is an elderly pet who benefits by not being in my home four nights a week. Our first six years were great. I have to be careful what I say because this is public. We were at his vacation home with our young friend who I thought he had a father/son relationship with. Problems with AC and house was cooling down. Young man wanted to sleep on screened in porch because of heat. My friend said that if he got too hot during night he would get into bed with young man. Young man said no. I woke up and he was in bed with him. Then, everything became crystal clear. This man is very smart. Had all kinds of execuses for what he did. No, I don't have anywhere to go. Family member is living with me now. I have to keep my pet safe from his.

 

July 22, 2020 6:12 pm  #34


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Gloria wrote:

Thank you for the response. He's not my legal husband but I do spend four nights a week with him. He is quite a bit older. I think you are being duped into being in a r'ship with this older man as a cover for what he's doing with younger men. This is my opinion, and I feel that makes you a witness to all he's doing. 
I cannot say that I am staying for the children but there is an elderly pet who benefits by not being in my home four nights a week. Our first six years were great. I have to be careful what I say because this is public. We were at his vacation home with our young friend who I thought he had a father/son relationship with. Problems with AC and house was cooling down. Young man wanted to sleep on screened in porch because of heat. My friend said that if he got too hot during night he would get into bed with young man. Young man said no. I woke up and he was in bed with him. Then, everything became crystal clear.
 i would be less concerned with pets and more concerned that the young man said "no" but this older man climbed into bed with him anyway.
This man is very smart. Had all kinds of execuses for what he did. Be smarter than him. 
No, I don't have anywhere to go. Family member is living with me now.  So if you live in a seperate dwelling don't be persuaded to go to his place. You need to confide in somebody about this, and be stronger about resisting him
I have to keep my pet safe from his. You need to keep yourself and your mental health safe....

Elle
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

July 23, 2020 9:28 am  #35


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Elli, thank you for telling me that I am in the wrong group. That was so very sweet of you. I have been seeing a therapist since February 2017. I told her about the support group and she suggested that I try it if I think that it would benefit me. Peace and love to you. Please know that I am holding a good thought for you today and always.

 

October 18, 2020 3:19 pm  #36


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

RE: Red flags.

- didn’t like oral sex
- sex with eyes shut
- no foreplay 
- sex mechanical/matter of fact/doing me a favour
- I always initiated it
- Never looked at my naked body. 
- never looked at other girls / never feared he would cheat on me with other girls. 

.... just generally blue blooded when it came to females.

Last edited by ExBeard (October 18, 2020 3:21 pm)

 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum