Straight Spouse Network Open Forum
This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else. Learn more >>>

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This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

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Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


Happy New Year, Friends!

Our year-end fundraising campaign is officially complete and with your generous help we raised $13,813 to serve straight spouses in need. From all of us at SSN, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.

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June 27, 2020 8:57 pm  #21


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

There has been many red flags with mine over the years. He told me his first wife was a lesbian and they had sex parties with other women?? i wonder really hard on that now. So I asked him why if the marriage broke up over " her liking women only" did he beat the shit out of her when he caught her with a male biker?? His ex is supposedly dead now he says, but only after I told him I was going to find her and see what his prior life before me was like. I was only 16 when we met and very naive.
why he always has wanted anal sex
Why he cannot maintain a hard on with me at all. why there is zero intimacies between him and I. ad nausea=.
 


Don't ever get use to abuse!
 

July 21, 2020 1:26 pm  #22


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Gloria wrote:

He and his deceased wife were both virgins when they married. He was 26. He has taken Viagra since I knew him when he was 66. Five years ago a friend of his told me that he came on to him wanting Viagra. Friend said no way. I almost forgot about it because he started letting this friend's ex girlfriend stay at his vacation home. I was concerned about that. He became friends with a man young enough to be his grandson and got into bed with him three weeks ago. I found condoms and jack off cream  Young friend said he had made a pass at him almost a year ago. I confronted my partner. He said he's never had sex with a man and does not plan on it. I found voice mails on his phone at vacation home from a man last year. Now he has the phone calls go directly to him. He has spent more time than usual on computer. Oh and one more thing-after six years of intercourse he cannot keep an erection so I have to perform oral sex on him. This has been going on since 2017.

 

 

July 21, 2020 2:01 pm  #23


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Gloria wrote:

....... Oh and one more thing-after six years of intercourse he cannot keep an erection so I have to perform oral sex on him. This has been going on since 2017....... 

 

Who is it that says you have to perform oral sex on him to get him hard? 

Elle

 


KIA KAHA                       
 

July 21, 2020 4:20 pm  #24


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

I am having trouble getting around website. I posted something June 27 and saw 20 replies but when I clicked on replies, I could not click on it. I do want to answer Ellexoh -We try intercourse now and then but he cannot retain an erection. He says it gets more  difficult with age. He is 76 and was 66 when we met. He has always needed viagra.About three years ago, we discovered that this worked. I have found out so many other things about him the last six weeks or so so I wondered if this is a sign. If he's gay, maybe he couldn't handle intercourse anymore and this is more natural. So glad that I found this support group. I am disappointed, hurt, and humilated.

 

July 21, 2020 5:35 pm  #25


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Gloria wrote:

I am having trouble getting around website. I posted something June 27 and saw 20 replies but when I clicked on replies, I could not click on it. I do want to answer Ellexoh -We try intercourse now and then but he cannot retain an erection. He says it gets more  difficult with age. He is 76 and was 66 when we met. He has always needed viagra.About three years ago, we discovered that this worked. I have found out so many other things about him the last six weeks or so so I wondered if this is a sign. If he's gay, maybe he couldn't handle intercourse anymore and this is more natural. So glad that I found this support group. I am disappointed, hurt, and humilated.

 

The reason I asked you "who says you have to give him oral sex to get hard?" is because throughout my time in the Forum it's become clear to me that whilst a straightspouse is confused, humiliated, left wanting...we still endeavor to make our r'ships better, to understand our partners...while they can still be carrying on in secret with same-sex dalliances, and very capable of living 2 separate existances. Having their cake AND eating it

I found all the sex in the world didn't stop the disappointment I felt when I wasn't getting my emotional needs met by the man who's supposed to know me. 

Elle
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

July 22, 2020 5:39 am  #26


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Ellexhoh, thank you for the response. I have been awake since four and can't sleep lately. My emotional needs are not being met at all. I am trying to hang on but it is so hard. He is taking a 17 year old boy to his vacation home. I will have to stay here and feed his cats. I warned the boy's uncle about what could happen. He got into bed with a 28 year old man last June 6th and my life will never be the same.

 

July 22, 2020 5:42 am  #27


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

I meant that it was this June 6th. That young man moved out and was terrified. I thought it was a father/son relationship. Had talk with my partner. Said he had never had sex with a man and does not want to but I know better. It hurts me than I can imagine. I have trouble sleeping if I'm not with him.

 

July 22, 2020 8:40 am  #28


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

Does anyone know if a penis pump is something that a gay man would use? I found one in his closet last fall. He said we would try it sometime.

 

July 22, 2020 8:41 am  #29


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

I shivered when I read that this man took a 17 year old boy to his vacation home.  I don't know what the legal age of consent is, but if he had sex with this boy, he could be facing rape charges.  

 

July 22, 2020 8:50 am  #30


Re: What were red flags 🚩 to you ?

This is what I know for sure. He and the child may be leaving tomorrow. I may or may not get to go. I warned the boy's father Monday night. He made advances to this 17 year old's 28 year old cousin. This old man is out of control.

 

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