It's interesting to me that, now that separation due to TTT has been agreed upon and implemented, I'm remembering so many specific things that I had endured over the years.  I don't mean that I had actually forgotten them -- I had just pushed them away because they were unpleasant and painful.

I feel like my brain was trying to protect me from too much pain then, and even now these memories are not rushing back to overwhelm me, but are politely and patiently waiting outside, entering one at a time.

Or perhaps the memories were always hovering nearby, but I kept pushing them away because letting them in would mean having to deal with this dysfunctional marriage, making decisions, making big painful changes.  But now that that's been done in one fell swoop (thanks to TTT), the other things are saying, "Yes, and remember me?"  There's no benefit to suppressing them now. There are no painful decisions to make because of them; it's already been done.

And although I try not to spend too much time on this (unwinding the skein, as CL says), it is actually quite a relief to have quiet revelations, and to see things falling into place and making a pattern.  All of the "inexplicables" over the years finally make sense.

Today I'm thankful for this.