I think its about the people and not primarily the shape of the relationship.
Whatever that shape ends up being, I look forward to the conversation and process of getting there.

Navigating pull toward mono is part of it. 

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." - Alan Watts

Very differently from many here, I'm not experiencing a difference which, for today and most likely the next tomorrows - appears to be irreconcilable.

For the thread, and the original poster, you may never discover the truth about your parents real interpersonal relationship...  He sounded like a great guy and your mother as well. 

He may have lost the one who knew.

Last edited by Paraceleus (August 28, 2019 10:40 am)

ShockedDaughter check your private messages!

lily wrote:

If there's a woman who wants to bonk you both and she's not sociopathic then she's probably nuts over your wife and prepared to do anything to be with her.

The proper term to describe such a person would be bisexual, not sociopath (necessarily). ;)

I expect no leopards to change spots... or for the sinister, left handed folk to convert...
In the same way, I can't project straight on those who are not - so what is the ideal algebra?

Straight people think 'straight'... not straight people don't.

I accept the difference and have yet to be hurt.

a_dads_straight_journey wrote:

Oh if only those of us who left could have found some way to preserve our marriages. We found ourselves without the reciprocity we needed and hence the pain.

From many here, the deceits, broken communication, elicit acts and putting spouses at heath risk without consent, the marriages aren't things to be saved.  The interests of both parties are better served by ending it and trying to heal.

If the true differences between people are too great, preservation would only be preservation of a painful sham.

That isn't my case.

I assume your partner has acted on her  desires and you are alluding to living in an active open relationship. Can you confirm?

 
Yes, we've been open for two and a half years - both of us dating independently.  As Lily alluded to, much is still theoretical.  Neither of us have encountered 'spark' and we have been actively seeking.  whatever happens - even if the whole thing goes sideways, it's true and we'll co-author a good book out of it

When we looked at each other's porn histories, they matched.

Thanks Abby...

To bring it back, a strange thing happened while everything in my relationship came to light...

My spouse's parents were unable to hide their own stories.

I'd known of an infidelity committed by my father-in-law that happened while we were first dating.
Two decades after, my wife finally asked her mother if it was with a man or woman.

The response was "woman, that time...".  She then told my wife of her own same sex attraction.

My in-laws are in a closeted, 'fake straight', non-mixed orientation marriage. 

From outside appearances,  no one would ever suspect. 

I however, suspect it to be common.  Perhaps even the norm.