are we talking about the unicorn - a threesome with a woman who wants to bonk you both

or couples therapy - where you both find girlfriends and then bond as a single family rather than go your separate ways

or something different again?

I can appreciate the straightness compatibility of the idea .. but don't you think you might get all monogamous over her if you found yourself in bed with the right woman?  

I have to laugh at all this crazy stuff mentioned above. I bet Google engineers are amused at some of these searches.

I’ve heard of polyamory & that’s it. Where do people find the time to do all these things much less create special names for them?

Lying cheater is what these nutty euphemisms all amount to. That therapist who authored that Psychology Today article is one I can cross off my list. I’ve run across some therapists who need more therapy than I do.

For OP, am sorry you found out the way you did. My late husband was a very charming fellow who called me names of endearment & I went along until the last few years. He was 100% homosexual, not bi.

Your late dad could have fooled your late mother for their entire marriage.  He may have been dedicated to staying in the closet and worked hard at it.

My late ex h was lazy & assumed I would remain the unquestioning dumb, easy to fool Catholic wife. 

You may want to contact your local SSN contacts for support & suggestions. It makes sense that children of closeted spouses are also victims of the victims of homophobia.  Take care & hope you can get some closure.

Last edited by MJM017 (August 27, 2019 2:55 pm)

ShockedDaughter check your private messages!

lily wrote:

If there's a woman who wants to bonk you both and she's not sociopathic then she's probably nuts over your wife and prepared to do anything to be with her.

The proper term to describe such a person would be bisexual, not sociopath (necessarily). ;)

I expect no leopards to change spots... or for the sinister, left handed folk to convert...
In the same way, I can't project straight on those who are not - so what is the ideal algebra?

Straight people think 'straight'... not straight people don't.

I accept the difference and have yet to be hurt.

a_dads_straight_journey wrote:

Oh if only those of us who left could have found some way to preserve our marriages. We found ourselves without the reciprocity we needed and hence the pain.

From many here, the deceits, broken communication, elicit acts and putting spouses at heath risk without consent, the marriages aren't things to be saved.  The interests of both parties are better served by ending it and trying to heal.

If the true differences between people are too great, preservation would only be preservation of a painful sham.

That isn't my case.

I assume your partner has acted on her  desires and you are alluding to living in an active open relationship. Can you confirm?

 
Yes, we've been open for two and a half years - both of us dating independently.  As Lily alluded to, much is still theoretical.  Neither of us have encountered 'spark' and we have been actively seeking.  whatever happens - even if the whole thing goes sideways, it's true and we'll co-author a good book out of it

When we looked at each other's porn histories, they matched.