Stronger,
   I don't know about you, but I have a much easier time with women who decide they want to live as men than I do with men who decide the want to live as women.  I've decided this is because girls/women are usually fleeing the toxic expectations laid on girls to be sex toys, while men who want to become women are so often rushing to objectify themselves and become a sex toy. 

walkbymyself wrote:

Here's why I don't buy into it, at least as far as my STBX is concerned: I know for a fact that even when he goes off with his gay boyfriend, he's lining up sex in secret on the side.

So you need a libretto to keep track of it, but he's cheating on the guy he's already cheating on me with.

He's not doing the double-life because he's a closeted gay.  He's doing all this because he gets a thrill out of cheating.

Therin lies the issue with these gay spouses..what good is their word?  If they say they are going out for a gallon of milk are they getting milk or having sex?  Why should we have to wonder...i just couldn't do it..i couldnt figure out when my GX was telling the truth and when she was lying/plotting/scheming.  It confounds me how she and her girlfriend (who also was a closet lesbian and broke up a straight marriage) can believe each other's words..  Not my problem anymore..i thank God everyday and surround my self with honest people who mean what they say and have no hidden agenda.

walkby,
    Have you asked your lawyer/solicitor about protecting yourself financially?  You should not be on the hook for his sexcapades!

Walk,

Yeah, i payed the charge bill which was in her name..hotel rooms and sex toys and all.  I payed all bills up until the divorce was final.  With the divorce final I was not legally bound to directly pay her debts.  Your stbx needs to learn how a divorce works.


The charge cards and savings were declared in the settlement.. Equal balances at the time so even debt. If she chose to drive up the balance on her card to infinity the settlement still said I was responsible for just my card debt.

If you don't trust him  I and a lawyer would advise take half of the savings now and park it at your lawyers office.  Make sure the settlement says what debts he is responsible for..normally half ..

Sadly there is no "our" money anymore..there is only halves and a gay spouse spending away.  The financials really show how out of touch with reality they are. If he takes money out of the 401k you are entitled to half.  If he wont give you half you need a lawyer to ask him for half ..the 401k is simple another asset..total value declared. 

There are no financial winners..TGT is an expensive emergency that requires one to protect themselves and the kids. There is little trust ..how much of 'our' money did they spend on TGT or loan their gay lover...in no world is that them looking out for the kids.