well my first thought is I like the way Sean makes no bones about it - gay/straight marriages are toxic - yes I agree and it is great to hear that from someone who has been on the other side of the fence.

second, again it is good to get that corroboration from the other side of the fence, someone who was gay and married, when you are new to working it out - yes my husband really is gay even though he says he isn't.

Last edited by JenS (March 30, 2019 6:13 pm)

 Ellexoh,

   Given that Sean has been asked not to comment on threads other than his own, because his presence here can trigger (and has triggered) some of the straight spouses who write in to the Forum, your qustion from this thread where he cannot defend himself is unfair. 
   
    If you want to pose this question, pose it on his thread, and pose it to those who write in to ask for his take on their situations and yes, occasionally speak as if Sean is the Oracle of Expertise on All Things Gay.  Others of us have in fact more than once taken him to task, and he's always been willing to listen and to defend himself or apologize.  

  But my response to your question is this (and Sean, if you read this, it's sincere on my part): 
   One of the things I like about Sean's answers, although I don't think he speaks for ALL gay men, is that he doesn't sugar coat, hand hold, or otherwise enable the desperate but delusional rationalizations of those who don't want what they fear to be true and will bend themselves into logical pretzels to try to believe their own delusional hopes and conclusions.  He doesn't coddle people who'd like to go on for years, telling themselves lies so they don't have to face the facts and act. 

Last edited by OutofHisCloset (March 31, 2019 10:28 am)

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

It's a question I'm asking because even with reform and atonement I myself would still not ask advice from a person who had hurt another in the way he has.

 
And yet you choose to trust and believe and remain committed to someone who has broken your trust previously?

I think this thread is deliberately inflammatory and defunct.

I don't think Ellexoh is a troll.

The reason I appreciate Sean's insight is the same as others have said: I've been gaslighted for two decades, and sometimes it's therapeutic for me to hear the uncensored truth.  He doesn't attempt to make excuses or justifications.

Also: in practical terms, there are things I don't understand about my husband's subculture.  Sean can explain what words or expressions mean.