Well, this Mermaid is remembering how to breath under water. I met with him today to get mail & a few things. He thought I hated him, I told him this is me being strong & protecting myself so I don’t get hurt again.
Emotions are going from bad ass to puddle of emotions & back again. Bad ass is out doing puddle the last few days. But I went back to hometown over the weekend & stopped by my Daddy’s grave to explain things to him. Bawled my eyes out because I knew he would be SO disappointed in my husband. My Father had such respect for my husband.

MOMs  are legal marriages only. These men are having their  “cake and eating it too”.  They get to hide behind the marriage without being required to be a real husband. You are wasting time having rules as far gay porn/sex or whatever with these jokers. Accepting his sexualty but putting all these restrictions on him is wasted effort on your part. You will be better Just focusing on you and let him be whatever he is meant to be. For sure these jokers are getting everything sexually and what are you getting besides being able to remain married to a man that doesn’t love you nor desire you. You deserve so much more from a husband. At some point, we have to learn how to love ourselves. As long as we remain in these relationship we will never be the women that we were meant to be. The wive and kids if there are kids suffer while Mr. gay/bi/trans thrive and eventually moves out to be with a partner.
My husband and are unofficial Moms.  My roommate/husband will not move out, won’t admit that he is gay (even though he is) but enjoys sleeping alone and hasn’t touch me in years.  I.m miserable in this arrangement, i’m Getting to live in my house and pretend to be married to someone who doesn’t love me nor intend to be a real husband-I deserve better. This has gone on for years and I’ve finally decided that I can’t stand being his insignificant other an longer.  He has never loved me nor will he ever so what’s the point staying together other than financial. I refuse to waste my entire life with this joker. 
I’m saving putting away money and paying off some debt in preparation impending EXIT.
I refuse to continue to settle  and devalue myself in the name of marriage to a  gay/bi/trans man.
I think I’ve stayed out of fear of the unknown but our lives are miserable with the known. We can’t continue to love someone that doesn’t love us. It will erode our sanity. I refuse to be his girl friend pal. I want and deserve more from a marriage.

Last edited by Ella (September 16, 2019 10:42 pm)