I'm now into week two of my journey. I have actually felt a ton of relief in coming to terms with the whole situation. I have blamed myself for decades and now that guilt is off my shoulders at last! I now understand that there was a fundamental flaw in our relationship from the very beginning. I was young, naive, and inexperienced. I went into my wedding night a virgin because I wanted to give that to whomever I married so I would never compare them to someone else.

After coming to the conclusion that my wife is in fact gay, it answered so many questions. I have been made to feel more insecure about myself than I ever should have -- feeling like the kid who's mom tied a steak around his neck so the dog would play with him. I spent years feeling like I wasn't enough -- I wasn't good looking enough, had a good enough physique, attractive enough, or good enough in bed to satisfy her. It is no wonder that I have suffered through decades of severe depression.

I also now know what the professionals have been trying to tell me for years -- if you are in a toxic relationship, you need to get out. My challenge was that my wife wasn't bad to me -- she in fact has been kind, considerate, caring, and loving in her own way. She just didn't have feelings of the romantic love for me that I need of my wife.

In the past two weeks we have had no sexual contact but I don't think she has even noticed to be honest with you. I wonder if she doesn't see it as a welcomed absence. For me everything has changed, but for her, it is all the same and the status quo continues.

I have not had "the talk" with her yet. I am in the middle of a business deal that requires my full, undivided attention until this thing is seen through. It has the potential to wipe out all of my debt at once and that will give me significantly more freedom once the time comes to separate. So I continue living this life of a lie but I now see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Truth be told, I went through the grieving process for losing my marriage years ago. I spent months crying myself to sleep at night -- lying right next to her in bed -- and she never once noticed.

I thank each and every one of you for all of your kindness -- sharing your thoughts and experiences -- and telling things like it is without sugar coating it. People going through this need that type of support structure and I feel so blessed to have found it here.