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1 of 1- Retired&Lost
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10 STEPS TO DISTANCING
10 Steps Toward DistancingDistancing is especially important in an emotional relationship gone wrong.
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[*]Stop asking new personal things of your partner about him/herself.
[*]Don't divulge personal things about yourself to them.
[*]Don't bend over backward to celebrate any occasions that involve them.
[*]Don't go out of your way to help them more than is necessary.
[*]Don't help them if someone else can.
[*]Avoid discussions that involve their lives, re: old topics.
[*]Start to develop new activities that don't involve them.
[*]Try to make new friends, acquaintances, anything.
[*]Make small changes in your life: rearrange furniture, change decorations, try new soaps, ride your bike in a different route, eat at a different restaurant, eat different foods, cook them a different way, shop at different stores, rearrange the landscaping, change some of your habits, change the style of clothing you wear, etc.
[*]If they ask favors of you, tell them you want time to think about it.
[*]THIS WAS TAKEN FROM THIS SITE SO NO CREDIT TO ME!
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Last edited by Retired&Lost (September 2, 2016 12:34 pm)
- Retired&Lost
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Re: 10 STEPS TO DISTANCING
THE ABOVE LIST WAS TAKEN FROM THE SITE HERE SO I AM NOT TAKING CREDIT FOR IT...but have been using a few of these and it has made things emotionally less stressful. The counselor I recently saw in dealing with the emotions made me aware that I'm living with a "room mate" especially regarding the finances bc he doesn't offer me all the qualities I sorely need and expect in a "normal relationship"...Also, I've been hoping to find a face to face support meeting but the only meeting is over 2 hrs from my home. Has anyone benefited from these meetings and if so, can you share your experience? I'm hoping they are during the daytime. It would be pretty difficult having to explain just where I was for over 6 hrs....not looking to make any waves in trying to secretly get my ducks in a row at this point.
- Dee
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Re: 10 STEPS TO DISTANCING
The meetings for me have been a lifesaver, just validating to know you aren't alone.
- Keepinghope
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Re: 10 STEPS TO DISTANCING
The meetings were a turning point in my recovery, still ongoing.
Maybe if you reach out to the live group someone could meet you halfway for coffee or something like that. Also we have a secret FB page here, which makes it easy to reach out anytime. Best wishes, and sending strength.
- Retired&Lost
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Re: 10 STEPS TO DISTANCING
Dee & Keepinghope.Would joining the FB page be able to be seen anywhere on FB? What would I do a search on str8 Spouse Network? Can either of you share how long the meetings last and how many usually attend? Thanx, I know at this point, I need all the support I can get!
- Dee
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Re: 10 STEPS TO DISTANCING
I'm can't speak to the FB page, but in my area, the meetings are 2 hours 1x month. Numbers vary from 5-10.