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  •  » Do I tell him how I feel?

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    January 27, 2019 9:41 pm  #21

    gonzo2000
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    Re: Do I tell him how I feel?

    Shan & control, I am really sorry you have had to join this "club". I think I speak for all of us that none of us want to need this site, but I am glad to have the opportunity to vent whenever I need. This is not a fun roller coaster, but is survivable because we don't have to reinvent the wheel. Others have successfully manouvered the obstacles, which are so similar.
    My GID told me quite tentatively that he "wanted to explore his homosexual feelings" 18 years ago. I think they all do that to give themselves the possibility of a return. And we have hope they will return.
    My experiences have taught me to not trust or depend on him for anything. For a few years he included me in his employer's family benefit plan, because it didn't cost him anything.
    Then, in 2016, he took me off: Revenue Canada did an "assessment" & now I have to pay +$3200 because psychotherapy is not an allowable medical expense. Without psychotherapy, I would not be able to work.…  Do Not depend upon "generosity". This is a man whose income is in excess of $120,000, while mine is below $20,000 due to "fragile employment". It doesn't matter that I tended to our children while he advanced his career. And when the children were old enough for me to work on my career, he needed to "explore his homosexual feelings"!!! Sometimes I want to scream into his ears!!!

     

    January 27, 2019 9:52 pm  #22

    gonzo2000
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    Re: Do I tell him how I feel?

    Quick response to "Do I tell him how I feel?"
    Telling him will only put him on the defense. "Poor me, they told me not to tell anyone. I wasn't safe."
    Oh and the worst is,"If you tell anyone, my career will be in jeopardy & I won't be able to support the children or you. I'll have to declare bankruptcy and then how will you manage?"
    He can come out of his closet whenever/ wherever he wants, but you will have to be careful in whom you confide. So you will be in the closet of his choosing.
    He was and still is extremely "charming"; the proverbial Prince Charming. Charming and dishonest.

    Last edited by gonzo2000 (January 27, 2019 9:56 pm)

     

    February 6, 2019 1:31 pm  #23

    Nuked2018
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    Re: Do I tell him how I feel?

    Gonzo:  My GID is super charming too.  Prince freaking charming... All the ladies just love him, he's such a nice guy... He has everyone fooled, it's so sickening.  What an actor when in private he's just an A-hole or master gas lighter.   The show these guys put on for others is mind boggling.  Decades of lies and deceit have turned him into a sociopath I think...

    Shan: So sorry for you find yourself here. The roller coaster ride is real. Take care of yourself, find a therapist it helps.

    All the pain money can buy,,, 
     

     

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