Shan13,

Did not shed a tear...
No they will not shed a tear for us.   The indifference/lack of empathy  can hit you like a bus and seem demonic.   This is the true them.. this is who they are.      This is the difference between us and them.  We could never do this to someone.

Who does he think he is..
Some of them think they are Gods or omnipotent beings..  Some think they can rewrite the past like Dr. Who.

".. can’t do it alone again..."
No you should not do it alone.. build a support system.    God may not take the form of angels with wings but does take the form of lawyer, therapist, psychiatrist, friends, family etc.    

I found there was no profit in telling my GX off...  she would welcome a fight...rage or silence were her primary methods to interact with me..  I preferred the silence.     I can look back now and say I was kind.. I was not cruel and did not become like her.     I think yes,    using anger  to help build your life is best.    Talking it out with a therapist helps.


PS;   I did the separate rooms ....felt so much safer not being in the room with her (and her girlfriend on the phone).     It is a physical feeling being around them of fear, distrust, hurt.     It was not me leaving her,  it was her rejecting me.


 

Last edited by Rob (January 23, 2019 10:47 pm)

Well as calmly as I could I told him how much it hurt and how anrgy I was for me and the kids, he shrugged at me that was my response... I needed more! My head is spinning about how far betrayal goes! All I get is I don’t know, I’m confused, he has done the whole I loved you so much, you’re so beautiful you will find someone else, nothing was fake I do love you I’m just confused! EVERYTHING WAS FAKE AND I HAVE NO TRUST! THATS NOT LOVE!!!

He’s claiming not to be gay again, just has the desire and doesn’t want any man to touch him at all... he was on Grindr and got curious and went to a gay bar, said some guy grabbed him and he freaked out, didn’t like it and left! I’m all he wants and says he has f**ked up and lost everything! I can’t trust a single thing he says but it still confuses my head! The roller coaster of emotions is exhausting!

Thanks for the support from everyone... it really does help!

Shan13 wrote:

Sooooo the truth has come out........ I’m on such a high, I was so happy, I feel free... don’t think the roller coaster of emotions have finished yet, hope I don’t crash to hard!

Yeah...as long as you know you're on a rollercoaster of emotion 
you'll know to be gentle with yourself  *hugs*
 

Shan, hang in there.  Since absolutely every foundation of my life turned out to be fake, I've learned to question a lot of conventional wisdom and commonly held assumptions, and one of the things I'm questioning is this idea that I should "get over" my anger.  Everybody repeats that but nobody seems to be able to explain how it benefits me.

I forgave my husband in 2006, and was willing to move on and be a nice loving doormat, and he just turned around and spent the next twelve years cheating on me prolifically.  So the same people who would have urged me to "forgive and forget" are now the people who are shaking their heads wondering how I  could have been so gullible.

There's no shortage of people out there who are willing to explain to you what you're doing wrong, especially if they've never been in your position.  You know what's good about me being angry?  Well, depression is anger turned inward, so it's keeping me from punishing myself.  Another good thing about anger?  I'm too mad to commit suicide, because if I commit suicide my husband would be relieved of having to pay me spousal support, and since that's likely to be the ONLY consequence he ever suffers for what he did to me, I'm not going to let him off the hook, even if it means I have to go on living.

Well, I suppose one other consequence to him is that his daughter wants nothing whatsoever to do with him.