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January 18, 2019 2:09 pm  #1


" We're so relieved you found us...! "

Ever since I joined the forum I see the words "....sorry you find yourself here " in many posts to new-comers

We have nothing to be apologetic about....we should be building people up.

It's a personal objection, the phrase "sorry you find yourself here" has never sat well with me. 


KIA KAHA                       
 

January 18, 2019 2:18 pm  #2


Re: " We're so relieved you found us...! "

Perhaps it's a difference in understanding or usage of the word "sorry". 

In this case the word sorry is not an apology as though WE have wronged someone.  The word sorry is a expression of compassion and understanding of the pain and misfortune for that person having this awful experience in their life.  

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/sorry
"sorry"  
ADJECTIVE


  • predicative 
  • Feeling sad or distressed through sympathy with someone else's misfortune.‘I was sorry to hear about what happened to your family’ 
  • [list=1]
  • sorry for - Filled with compassion for.‘I felt sorry for the poor boys working for him’ 



You are welcome to use whichever term you wish to welcome new-comers.  I choose to express my sympathy for their pain. 


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

January 18, 2019 4:12 pm  #3


Re: " We're so relieved you found us...! "

phoenix wrote:

Yip Phoenix.....definitely a different understanding of the use of it.  And I wouldn't denounce anyone who uses it, 
but wanted to add my thoughts

I wasn't sorry to find myself here. In fact....it's been a lift to my self-confidence, it has extended my understanding of the situation I found myself in, given me the strength to move forward and I can't think where I would be now if I hadn't found you all


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

January 18, 2019 5:48 pm  #4


Re: " We're so relieved you found us...! "

I really love that you brought this up, Ellexoh. Speaking for myself, I think it is easy for me to fall into the trap of using a rote introductory phrase. I mean it in genuine terms, but I am using it in part because it is an easy routine. (Like: "Hello! How are you?") I think "Welcome! We are so glad you found our forums!" sounds like an awesome substitute... if I can manage to remember it

Last edited by Estella Oculus (January 18, 2019 5:49 pm)

 

January 18, 2019 8:19 pm  #5


Re: " We're so relieved you found us...! "

Estella Oculus wrote:

..

Cheers Estella


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

January 20, 2019 6:34 pm  #6


Re: " We're so relieved you found us...! "

It's so interesting that you bring this up. I have started telling people at work that I have asked my husband for a divorce, although I have left out the real reason and just said he cheated on me. I don't feel right about outing him against his wishes. Anyway, a coworker came up to me a few days later practically crying and saying how sorry she is for me and acting like the world was ending. 

I don't feel that way at all. I FINALLY feel free and it's a wonderful feeling. For 13 years I've held onto this secret and tried to make do in my marriage and it really stole me from myself. Now I can be me again and enjoy life!!!  Asking for the divorce has made such a difference in how I'm feeling. I feel like it's something to celebrate but others don't see it that way unfortunately.

 

 

January 20, 2019 7:01 pm  #7


Re: " We're so relieved you found us...! "

jkc1214 wrote:

It's so interesting that you bring this up...... I feel like it's something to celebrate but others don't see it that way unfortunately. 

I've wanted to say something about it for a while...and even though it's not something felt by everybody....felt that it's an important enough distinction that I could voice confidently. Thanks JKC
 


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

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