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January 8, 2019 1:54 pm  #1


Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

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Last edited by Estella Oculus (May 30, 2019 7:15 am)

 

January 8, 2019 9:23 pm  #2


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

It sounds like a stressful layer on top of everything, specially when you were almost ready to be done with the agreement part. I am very sorry to hear about his suicidal thoughts, that must be really hard, but you are facing it straight and taking immediate  action, I am glad that your son has you and psicological support. You are being very proactive, it’s exhausting, but it’s the responsible and wise thing to do. You are being the bigger person. My psicologist always tells me that I give too much space, thought, attention, to any new and stressful thing my STBE comes up with. I always respond with a: how can I not pay attention if it affects my life so directly still? But I am starting to understand what he means. To put an example, last week his living alternative was to live in a van, parked in front of our current apartment. It drove me crazy, I almost had a panick attack just thinking about my baby daughter spending time in a van parked in the streets of Brooklyn, so I said no, but we had a loooooong argument. Next time he comes up with a crazy idea I am not gonna waste my resources and energy trying to convince him otherwise.

I feel you really got this, you are almost there, stay strong!

 

January 9, 2019 7:41 am  #3


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

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Last edited by Estella Oculus (May 30, 2019 7:15 am)

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January 9, 2019 8:29 pm  #4


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

I love Grace and  Frankie, they are both incredible, but Lili Tomlin cracks me up! She is So funny. And the van in front of the apartment idea.... I have had some laughs with my friends recently, I have to! Humor is such a life savior, I always joke about how I married an amusement park, it never gets boring!

I also often think about what are the chances of somebody like me, from a big city of a different continent, having  a baby with a gay man from a small place in Kentucky.... my baby was meant to be! I would not change the ride for anything, because he brought me to her. Let’s revisit our past with compassion for ourselves, and why not, trusting our younger self. That is what you did and is Ok, and you are getting out!

Looking forward to that toast!

 

January 10, 2019 8:03 am  #5


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

Love love love what you say about your darling baby here. You're absolutely right! Yay! Yes, you're motivating me to get down your way soon!!

     Thread Starter
 

January 11, 2019 10:45 pm  #6


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

You know where to find me! Sort of 

 

January 12, 2019 4:44 am  #7


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

MMartin, just WOW you are so strong and wise and your baby is so lucky to have you as a mom!!! I'm sometimes in awe of the people here and the massive shedload of shit they have to go through on this journey.... Keep on keeping on... Toasting you here as you bravely go forward... bows to your grace, wisdom and strength! 

 

January 12, 2019 8:13 am  #8


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

@MMMartin I'm going to drive around all of Brooklyn looking for vans parked in residential areas and when I find one, I'll ring the doorbell. XD

     Thread Starter
 

January 12, 2019 8:19 pm  #9


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

You made me laugh!! [img]http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/happy.png[/img]

 

January 12, 2019 8:59 pm  #10


Re: Thought the suck might almost be over BUT NO!

YAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY!
 

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