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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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    January 5, 2019 3:54 pm  #1

    flowerpower
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    Is he gay or just not into his wives?!?

    Hi all....gosh....this is going to be hard, but I am just going to spill it...
    Here are the reasons I suspect my soon to be ex may be gay or at least bi.
    I am ex w #3.  Early 50's.  two 10 year marriages, 1 5 year.  Both wives had affairs.
    As soon as we married, he told me he had a fantasy tht I was giving oral to another man.  The he would ji in, (Only on me, supposedly)
    He has a preference of analingus than what us women prefer.  He would rarely please me and would constantly go for the back side.
    We tried a strap on twice.
    Most important, I believe, he could never orgasm from sex.  He had to close his eyes and finish himself off.  ALMOST EVERY TIME.  I once asked him that my goal was for us to both have orgasms during sex.

    He never would take me on dates, and is a fitness fanatic.  He's on an app that he loves all the kudos from other men on how much of a stud he is.

    He showered with his son every day in our master bath every day thru 5th grade even though it made me uncomfortable.
    I had sexy boudoir photos made for our anniversary and I hardly got a notice.  That was only 3 years in.

    He doesnt speak or share his feelings at all.  Never has.  Never cared about where I was, even as newlyweds.  Last time he tried to touch me, it was an immediate grab into my butt crack.  That was not doing it for me and now we are divorcing.

    10 years of feeling unattractive has taken its toll and my self esteem is in the toilet.

    Sorry for the rant.

    Thoughts?  TMI?

     

    January 7, 2019 1:02 pm  #2

    SarahCleary
    New member

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    Re: Is he gay or just not into his wives?!?

    Identical experience here, on the things that I quoted from you, 2naive :-(
    And then, many other things too. Being grabbed at, tickled, poked all the time, instead of those confident, softly manly gestures. I feel like my body has been a misunderstood, alien 'toy' in the past 1.5 years :-(

    I am one day after telling my GIDX that I wish to case our formal tie.
    It hurts like a hot torch pressed to my chest for now...


    2naive wrote:

    Flowerpower,
    I recognize almost all of the things you described in this post especially the way my GIDX would grab at my back side, it just felt wrong, not like normal sexual play.
    He also did not share his feelings or talk about anything deep. 

     

     

    Last edited by SarahCleary (January 7, 2019 1:02 pm)

     

     

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