I'v noticed if I'm looking at it on my phone, as opposed to a tablet, it gives you the option of changing it to a desktop view. I've found when you do that, it's much easier to see recent posts . Personally, I'm just happy to have it, thanks Sam!

Hi Sam - Thanks for the information about registering, email, etc.  I have not wanted to register because I was afraid my email would be public - looks like I was right.  I really do not want to have to create a separate email just for this site, but I will think about it.  I understand the issues you've mentioned in your post; just not sure I want to deal with it all anymore.  Maybe I will just keep reading off and on, it does help.

I'm like you Lakebreeze - I am finding it too hard to handle this new forum.  so sorry Sam, do appreciate the reasons you've given for staying here and I do like being able to edit a post but I can't even find my own posts let alone responses to them, and I never remember the name of the thread.  So I am coming here and I read one or two posts which always gives me something to think about but I don't get any further, and I am finding it hard to respond.

what can I say.  Thank you for having the forum, I've been so grateful for it and will be around if not so active as the past.  To all you newbies - hang in there.  it does get better, whatever your circumstances, as the shock wears off.  Don't panic.  Never trust a Vogon and always be kind to yourself.  xox

Last edited by lily (August 27, 2016 1:02 pm)

Sam,

I like the new forum, especially being able to edit, fix spelling mistakes, correct something that I could have phrased better, or when I re-read it, I realize it didn't come out quite right. Two thumbs up from me. I also like the idea of a subforum for telling our own stories.

I'd like to propose another sub-forum. I am thinking of newbies when I suggest this, but maybe similar to "our stories" another where we can tell newbies what worked for *us."  A place where we could list general things that helped us at different stages in the process, whether that's exercise, meditation, therapy, finding new hobbies, going back to school, whatever it may be. When this is all still a shock, I think it would be useful to have a quick reference forum to show that a) it gets better, and b) here are some practical, to-do and/or to-think about steps one can take. As long as it were understood that these too would be contributions of what helped each of us *personally* and are not to be taken as universal law for everyone. Sort of like a library of helpful ideas, practical tips, "don't panic" reading.  If that makes sense. 

The "our story" board is great for introducing ourselves, but I am thinking along the lines of "here's what I did about a situation I was dealing with..."  Something that shows there is reason to hope, proof that it really does get better.

I just think how often we tell ourselves, or the 'newbies,' that there is no manual for this, there is no guidebook, etc. Well, why isn't there one?  It seems to me we have enough people here who have or are working it through, who can talk about what helps, what the pitfalls are, the 'gotchas' that came up without warning, and so on.  If we don't tell our success stories (along with the painful stories), who else is going to do it? 

One thing I looked for, for what seemed the longest time, was stories from people who end up at least remaining friends with their ex-es. We know they are out there. But they don't seem to be here in these forums, I suppose because they have no need of these forums, since they've worked things out for themselves. How did they do it - what was different about their stories? That would be incredibly useful, I think.