OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- end-of-ldr
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Did he love me
After dating for 2.5 years, my boyfriend came out as gay to me. I’m mad and frustrated that I feel in love with the wrong person. He says that he never faked his love for me, but I don’t understand how this can be true. Does anyone have any tips or thoughts on how a gay person can simultaneously be truthful about being in love, and not interested in women?
- phoenix
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Re: Did he love me
Welcome to our group end-or-Idr
Your question is hard to answer because it depends on the definition of "Love". He may have loved in the way that you love your friends, but he certainly didn't love you in the same romantic way that you loved him.
It won't make you feel much better right now, but you should be happy that he came out to you now rather than marrying you and using you as a "beard" to hide his homosexuality for the rest of his life. That's at least some sign of integrity on his part.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- end-of-ldr
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Re: Did he love me
I guess that makes sense... and I think deep down I know that to be true. I just don’t want to admit it. Because to me it was so real and wonderful.
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Thread Starter- phoenix
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Re: Did he love me
It was absolutely real to you! You're love was authentic and true and complete.
Many of our spouses and partners tried to "fake it" because they wanted to be straight. They thought they could learn to love us romantically. Some used us knowingly of course, but not all of them. The problem with these relationships is that they were selfish. If they didn't know 100% that they were completely in love with us, then the relationship was selfish and beneficial to them only and that is wrong.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- ShockedMamaOf2
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Re: Did he love me
I’m sorry that happened to you. He had to have known that your feelings for him were romantic. I feel like he definitely should’ve mentioned it sooner. I’m just really glad he spoke up now instead of after you’re married with children with a house. There’s never an easy time to hear the gay confession. We’re all here for you.