Madmatt wrote:

is Bi sexuality not a thing? It’s recognized as a legitimate sexual preference.

 

Bisexuality is a thing. But I've realised that the word is a sliding scale, and it depends where you are in your sexual-life, how aware you are of it, how honest you are about your life with the people you love, what experiences you've had.....but mostly how honest the bisexual person is ​with themselves....as to where a person is on that scale
 

yes, there's a group of people who identify as bisexual.  They are attracted to their own sex, some end up calling themselves gay or lesbian as they get older.  It seems to be an emotional thing - emotional maturity brings the wish to be with their own sex to the forefront.  before that it is more on the back burner.

you are not bisexual, it comes across clearly in your posts that you are straight.  With emotional maturity you instinctively want to be basking in the shelter of the tree of love you have been growing.  Instead you are left to feel the ache as you watch your wife exploring 'her other side'.

you are doing the right thing in working things through in your head.  that shows a lot of strength.

all the best, Lily

um, yes isn't it so much one of those things you never thought could happen to you.  And it just does.  I broke a rib a few days ago and couldn't really believe I'd done it so by the time reality caught up to me I was very sore indeed from putting too much stress on my chest.  Now I am on painkillers every six hours.  It will get better.  I am being very careful now, nursing myself.  

One of the most poignant things Mervyn Peake drew was the 'pushmepullyou' - a very attractive deer-like animal, innately charming, so nice to talk to but when you went round to the rear she had a head there too, glancing through apologetic eyelashes, she is still talking to you - you could never get behind her.

some things are never out of style, they're just the way we're built.  It's not old-fashioned or sexist to set a boundary of needing honesty.  You clearly love and trust your wife.

So bottom line, gut feeling - do you believe your wife will be able to be fully open and honest with you? 

Thinking things through in your own head is to give the part of you that wants to crawl into a ball the hand of the man you are today.  Of course you will be okay!  

Wishing you all the best, Lily

It’s a painful time as I’m sure you’re aware. Processing this new situation is tough. 

Would you feel differently if she was seeing another guy ?  At the end of the day it’s about what she is doing to make you feel ‘safe’ in the relationship.  Of course trust is important but it’s irrelevant if they are saying they love you as they drive the car over the cliff.

It’s really strange she goes out to times a month and has been for a while she always told me where she’s going told me when she gets back if I have questions she answers them it seems that she wants to talk about it We are best friends
I do have PTSD and sometimes that sets me off and it’s not her actions honestly I’m fine with that I think I want to get a grip on my issues before I delve into hers
Once again I’m not naïve and yes if it was another man I would have a major problem she has never done anything to lead me to believe she’s keeping secrets
So as it is I’m fine but I do know where it could lead simply put it does not change my feelings for her I love her with every ounce that I am and if I’m a fool so be it
Of course next week everything contract I could become incredibly upset lost and alone but this week I’m good