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October 18, 2019 11:30 am  #21


Re: how do I get my groove back?

Hanging out with other women. Really that is the best.  I met two new friends in a coffee shop the other day as I noticed they were talking about something I was interested in.  Be brave! 

Finding a new item of clothing that you love wearing.

Masturbation.

If that isn't doing it for you, then simply getting sensual with yourself - scents, baths, oils, new clothes (see above) massage, beauty treatments, anything that delights your sense of yourself literally - how you smell, the feel of silk against the skin, etc. reacquaint yourself with you at a very physical level and try to let the self critical thoughts subside.  

Eating well. 

Moving gently and feeling the earth beneath your feet.  We will be under it soon enough.... Life is so short and this is a trauma we can heal from.  

You are an amazing person.  A fantastic writer at the very least.... don't let the fuckers get you down.  

xx L
 

 

May 1, 2021 6:27 pm  #22


Re: how do I get my groove back?

Deleted

Last edited by MJM017 (July 11, 2021 6:58 pm)


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

May 1, 2021 9:54 pm  #23


Re: how do I get my groove back?

Longwayhome,
   That lost confidence seems to me one of the hardest hits we take.  I wrote that post almost three years ago now, and I still haven't fully recovered my own confidence--in so many registers.  Like you, I was a pretty confident woman.  I think perhaps one reason for my loss of confidence (and I think I've written about this before, too), is that I don't trust myself, don't trust my perceptions.  I don't have confidence that my conclusions about what I'm seeing are accurate, because how could I?  I was so blind to such a deep seated thing in my husband, didn't have a clue for the entire three decades plus of our marriage that he was harboring his hidden sexuality.  I am confident about my skills, about my ability to do the things I know how to do, but this other thing is harder to overcome, and that other confidence difficult to regain. 
  

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