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August 28, 2021 10:25 pm  #61


Re: Keeping Their Secret

Soaplife,

If I understand correctly, you didn't know your ex was gay (or he denied it?)  until after the divorce?  What a mess of lies these people create!  You'd think they'd grow up at least for their own kids. So sorry, Soaplife!

My GIDXH passed away a few months after the divorce 4 years ago  - his bad habits caught up to him.  I could barely function due to the abusive marriage & his stalking me after the divorce. It was awful mourning someone you despised and trying to heal at the same time.

I have no issues telling. It's a geographic problem with an unreceptive, PC audience.

I'm glad you are able to tell people. I think it's very important to have support.

Take care!

Last edited by MJM017 (August 28, 2021 10:26 pm)


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

August 30, 2021 6:10 am  #62


Re: Keeping Their Secret

Gosh there are so many things all of you have written and I sooo agree with that, Dixie. 30 years of my life too, and yes, manipulative, and a user.
I find myself in a bit of a pretzel-position: We HAVE had our divorce in March, and I live on my own since mid April. And it was sort of o k for the past 4 months, until this blinkin' lockdown hit here in Auckland, NZ. All the covid info around me, and with no family in sight, and no way of driving to a friend, or just getting out as usual, going to and back from work drives me nuts...

I started developing an ulcer, and GH said I can stay with him and my son until I feel better and want to go back home, just 5 min away... I simply had to... I could feel I was spiriling downwards... but it's not easy being here in the same house. We have nothing in common. With my son here, and my fluffy friend it becomes a bit better... Luckily for me, he goes to work every day... I suppose it's not that bad...Thank goodness!

However, many and constant questions on which I've never had clear answers to kept bombarding me during the last couple of months, and I thought now would be a good time to talk about that and get clarity. We'll see how honest he REALLY is, and what else he was hiding from me all these years...

Just want to move on with life, but it's not easy. I feel extremely lonely. I am on meds for anxiety and depression, and I'd say, the latter comes for 'visits' quite often. I do go for walks, I started painting on an easle which I have never done before, LOL, and I have ordered a Teddy in the Box kit, to keep my head and hands busy. Over all, I feel to betrayed... so used...

Yes, Selfrenewal, the problem is that he is also kind, and generous and very charismatic too! He even told me about two women that were interested in him at some stage, no wonder! And Rob, same here, " I was the kindest, most loving" wife and I worked very hard all my life to support our family where I could. And since being in NZ, he didn't try ONCE to get a better pay, but always 'supported my efforts' in doing so, to support his overseas friends which I knew nothing about.

After we got married, we decided TOGETHER that love, trust and honesty would always be the Captain of our Boat... Well, guess what? It was only my 200% contribution that endured... Thank you for letting me spit it out, as it is on this forum. Hopefully I am taking more steps forward, than going backwards again... And there are SO MANY of us going through this...! I salute this forum!!!


"Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).
 

August 30, 2021 8:05 pm  #63


Re: Keeping Their Secret

Beijoux wrote:

...... And it was sort of o k for the past 4 months, until this blinkin' lockdown hit here in Auckland, NZ. All the covid info around me, and with no family in sight, and no way of driving to a friend, or just getting out as usual, going to and back from work drives me nuts..

 
I'm in Christchurch Beijoux Aucklanders are certainly doing it tough.!!
The light in my Delta tunnel will be a decent coffee tomorrow albeit a takeaway one

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
 

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