Hi everybody, i not used to write on forums or in anyway ask for help before trying to solve a problem on my own...but this time im affraid i cant do it...i dont even know what i feel! I was in a relationship for 6 years, almost 3 years married and also i have a little boy, who is now 2,5.
Our relationship was almost in any aspect perfect..we had everything...love, trust, friendship, support..everything that a person could wish for. But after i gave a birth to our son, something happend. With me..well the labour was really hard and I got a lot of stiches, so it took a while that i was prepared to have sex with my husband. But something was wierd, something was off... All until now, i thought it was my foult,,at least he said it was...i thought that after the birth something changed in me and i couldnt connect with him as i did before.  To be honest, until now,  i couldnt believe how lucky i am, that my husband understands what am i going through.
But 2 tweeks ago it came from nowehere...he is leaving me...he is leaving us... he didnt want to tell me the reason but somehow he made me believe that we just grew appart, because of my " problem" and that the family is not something that he wants. Somehow, i knew he is not telling me something  and i was right. Two days ago he came out, telling me he is gay..and he knew it before but ignored all the obvious "signs". He allso confessed that everything that he barried deep deep inside of him, kicked back when we got our babyboy and that he cant live in a lie anymore and that i need to deal with it.
How the hell can i deal with it? I dont even know how i feel? There are some moments in a day that i can think clearly and im full of optimism that its better like that and at least (thank god) he wasnt waiting to do this for the next 20 years...but still..it hurts so bed! I can not sleep, i can not eat...there are constant images of him front of my face, telling me he likes men and trans. 
On that very moment that he told me the truth, i wasnt mad, i was scared. I was so SCARED.Scared for him, for our son and for me...what doest that mean? I huged him and i let him cry.
And now, when i need him, to survive this mess that he pulled me into, he said i need to suck it up, that im a big girl! Im so angry, confused, sad and scared at the moment that i dont know what to do... But i know i need to be there for him and for my son.
The problem is, that he opened just to me and i can not tell it to anyone...
Please tell me, how did you do it, how did you put a smile on your face every morning so that your child didnt see you suffering? How long did it take you accepting the situation and start to live again.. how did your kids react, knowing that their dad is gay?

Thank you,
Confused