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Hi all, I stopped making excuses for him years ago because "friends" we had known for decades asked about the possibility of reconciliation.
I may have been too blunt, but I had had enough of the questions. I told them, "He told me he wanted to explore his homosexual feelings. If you are curious about his exploration, you can call him. Here's his telephone info."
They stopped asking me. A few did call him, left messages on his voicemail, to which he did not reply. At first, I was upset that I stopped getting invitations to their gatherings, but my therapist helped me realize they were not really my friends. There are over 6 billion people on the planet. I don't expect to have all of them as close friends.
When I sent a letter to his father in UK, with a photo of his grandchildren & me, X was livid. Demanded to know why I would not have invited him to be in the photo. His sister seemed really happy to know her older bro was ho. She said, "Oooh, now he can help me decorate my house." Stupid woman, as if merely being gay causes somebody to have artistic talent. Before we began dating, the man wore white-sport socks with his 3-piece suits.!! And he only wore white shirts because that was safer.
Anyway, I am sure there are people you haven't yet met who would enjoy your company.
Last edited by gonzo2000 (April 29, 2018 8:11 pm)
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Deleted.
Last edited by Lynne (October 3, 2020 6:59 pm)
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Lynne wrote:
Thanks for this great post.
Agreed, great post Gonzo
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I am going through the exact same thing right now!! It’s been 6 months since I found out everything and we decided to separate. I’ll moving out on a few weeks and the closer it gets to that time I have been completely overwhelmed with with every possible emotion ugh some days I wake up out my sleep and immediately began to cry. I’ve been convinced that I must be going crazy
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Nope, not crazy. Just overwhelmed with it all. You have to hold onto the fact that you have done nothing wrong. xx. Need to learn to take my own advice, lol.
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HW, you are not crazy. The situation you are in is "crazy".
Also, remind yourself that you have been living with somebody you respected, trusted and loved who did not respect you enough to tell you. You deserved then, and still deserve, to be treated with RESPECT. You have been used/abused for years, so of course, you feel overwhelmed by all the very mixed emotions....
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All I can say Greyhound is that i'm 5 months alone now, and it really does get better. Only when I e-mail him do I feel those roller coaster feelings and I go off the rails. No contact is bliss and its so important to follow it. I learned the hard way. I didn't start to heal until I went NC. It was sooo hard at first but this is the place to come when you're feeling overwhelmed.
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I totally understand how you feel. The range of emotions is awful. There are others out there that are going through the same thing as you are believe it or not. I am a straight spouse of a closeted gay man. I have two dogs that help me with the sadness too. I keep praying for some answers but don’t seem to find them. I hope you can sort things out. I am sure it takes time.