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Is He/She Gay » A gay ex-husband answers your questions » October 1, 2021 9:15 pm

Julian_Stone
Replies: 1831

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Really great podcast...I cried with Kristin!  Thank you, Sean.

Support » Wife of 10 years and 2 kids on our anniversary tells me she is queer » September 23, 2021 1:37 pm

Julian_Stone
Replies: 57

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Iamsoconfused wrote:

So my wife has been encouraging me to get out of the house and go spend time with guy friends.  I am struggling to understand why she is pushing this so much.  Does she want me to get used to the idea of being away from her?  Does she just need space without me around (she will have to watch the kids anyway).

We have a guys camping trip scheduled in October and I know what is going to happen.  I'm going to get stuck in my head the whole trip.  Wonder what she is doing and who she is talking to.  I will be depressed and anxious and all the guys are going to wonder what is going on.

Anyone here have a gay spouse who was encouraging them to get away for a bit?  She's really been pushing for us each to spend some time for ourselves lately and balancing the kids. Just has me wondering what's in her head.

None of us can say what her motive is...but if you have the chance to get away with friends: Take it...Allow yourself a break from all this. I think the space will actually be very good for you. I wish I'd done the same myself. 

General Discussion » Amazing changes coming to SSN » September 15, 2021 6:22 pm

Julian_Stone
Replies: 204

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MJM017 wrote:

Almost all of the studies concentrate on the mental health of the nonstraight. Grant funding in the US would pay attention to an organization that serves us straight spouses/partners if there were studies concentrating on us. It's unrefutable evidence of our mental anguish.

This is really good point...I would love to see studies/more attention brought to the impact on the straight partner. I wish we also had some prominent allies in the LGBT community being vocal about the damage the closet causes to people unknowingly brought into it. 

I think the idea of being "proud" of your sexuality (whatever it may be) is a bit odd...but, more than ever, I respect those who are living honest, authentic lives...no matter the consequences. I wish that for everyone...so there are far less of us in the future.
 

General Discussion » Glad I'm straight. There's no confusion » August 17, 2021 10:46 am

Julian_Stone
Replies: 10

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Daryl wrote:

If they are comfortable enough to talk to you about this, I think you did things right. Hopefully that means they will be just as honest in their other relationships.

Absolutely!! Your children know (and trust) that your love is unconditional...and that is such a beautiful thing. I imagine most of our spouses didn't grow up in that kind of environment. 

General Discussion » Amazing changes coming to SSN » August 13, 2021 8:14 pm

Julian_Stone
Replies: 204

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Daryl wrote:

When I skim through the topics in the support section, I see many threads started by newer members. I don't think the volume has significantly decreased, but we do sometimes get small bursts of activity followed by some quieter times.

Looking through it, there were definitely many big bursts in the months following lockdown.

General Discussion » How to detect guys if they're gay or straight...?! » August 13, 2021 9:33 am

Julian_Stone
Replies: 70

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Ordinary guy wrote:

Ladies, I know this sounds uncouth and crude, but from a straight man I can let you into a little secret. Half in jest, but they do say that “never a truer word is spoken in jest”.

Bend over in front of any heterosexual man and look backwards to see if he is looking. If he is looking intently at your backside he is straight. If he looks away quickly, he is straight (we have a natural “hand in the cookie jar” reflex that is innate). It may be that he hasn’t noticed which does happen. Let out a small sigh to attract attention, this will draw his attention which then should become fixated. There is some part of a heterosexual man’s brain that is automatically attracted to the female form when adopting this posture. I have been known to utter expletives at the impropriety of experiencing this phenomenon when the subject of my attention was wholly inappropriate. I’m doing it before I know I’m doing it, even if I know it’s wrong it still can’t be helped.

This was, of course, how Elle Woods discovered the pool boy was gay....He was unresponsive to the "bend and snap." ;) 

It was also how this real-life "Straight Wife" outed her husband. I discovered this blog early on during the deep MF phase. I was so grateful to be able to laugh at something. 

True Story: Elle Woods outed my husband



 

Is He/She Gay » Do Gay men keep nude pics of other men on PC if not gay? » June 30, 2021 9:51 am

Julian_Stone
Replies: 34

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Ordinary guy wrote:

The answer to this question is no. You do not have naked pictures of another man’s wedding tackle unless you are gay

or

Maybe you are a Urologist. 

Hahah! It's very rare I find myself laughing on this site...but this did it  

Support » Looking for advice on what to do next » June 7, 2021 9:29 pm

Julian_Stone
Replies: 16

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Just wanted to reiterate what Maria said...You have sooo much life ahead of you. I promise you that this will be but a mirage in your rearview mirror one day. Until then, you definitely need an empathetic ear...whether that's a counselor or a good friend. Some people here have had great success with trauma therapy. Journaling, meditation, and exercise help, too...Now, more than ever, you need to be kind and patient with yourself. Your heart will heal in time. 

General Discussion » Moving Forward - One step at a time » May 30, 2021 6:09 pm

I so admire your strength—and all that you contribute to this community (that none of us ever wanted to be a part of). Seems like you found a really great counselor...which is sometimes a battle in itself. Wishing peace (at last!) for you & your son. 

Support » My wife has been briefly online dating a woman and just told me. » May 26, 2021 4:25 pm

Julian_Stone
Replies: 19

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I'm so sorry your wife is treating you this way. I cannot even begin to imagine asking my husband to help me rent a car so I can meet up with an affair partner. This is just highly bizarre behavior.

Is there anyone in your life you can talk to? This situation can be extremely isolating ...and disorienting. I always encourage others to talk to someone—even if it's a counselor. I'm not sure where you're located, but there are in-person support groups through SSN. Someone here may be able to connect you to the right person to contact. 

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