welcome. So sorry.

Just friends ...yes... the problem I had with that is some lady friends she had were just friends and one she was sleeping with.   Why should we have to wonder?   I call this the horribleness of TGT... Are they out shopping or having sex?

" she goes on seeing her friends and planning family vacations as if nothing is happening.." 
 I think that shows what they think of us, our intelligence, our feelings and worth.   I would tell here there will be no money for vacations.     

I also stayed in my home which was hell on earth but gave me time with my kids.    Its not for the weak but did give me some leverage in the divorce.       
 

"..I'm still hurting so bad. I'm trying to process but I feel like everyone is rushing me to move on. .."
 
You move at the pace you want.     It is shocking to see our spouses move on so quickly...they've had lots of private time, unbeknownst to us, to process their discard of us.     While this is true...I feel deep in my bones that  it also shows the type of person that they are;  thay they discard years of friendship and intimacy like we are trash to be taken to the curb.     As you process this remember your are worth more than he can ever comprehend.   As you make plans please plan to get far away from shallow people like him..

Anon,

If anything the guy gave you a glimpse of what a normal relationship looks like.  I know as my GX got meaner toward the end anyone and everyone seemed normal compared to her.  Years out and in a normal relationship now I can't believe the treatment I had put up with in my marriage.

On dating or seeing anyone again..  I practiced self preservation..any sign of narcissism and I was out. 
Just enjoy the company and conversation.  No need to rush anything or accept any abnormal treatment.

TeeWee,

Your not old at all..


I think some if the advice you see here is from people who lived through this.   For myself..I thought my GX was my best friend and soulmate..but once she decide to live her truth as gay and had a girlfriend..I was neither.

It was horrifying to see this change in my spouse...it certainly says a lot about her as person moreso than saying all gay spouses are like this.

In regards to her knowing..she knew...there was always something off with our sex life that I could quite put my finger on.. her having a gay affair explained a lot.  In info I hacked from her I got t he impression she though I was either naive and didn't know or must have known about her same sex attraction..   I was the former I guess. 


Replies you get here again are just folks trying to help you out. I surmise one finds out just how much a soul mate and best friend their spouse is when they divorce them. 


Wishing you strength and self love.

Ellierig,

Sorry for your loss.

I don't know how I would have gotten through this without my parents..I can't help but think God allowed this to happen so I could have a relationship with them again in their late years.