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This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


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Strategies for MOM's » New Subreddit for Straight Partners of Bisexuals » December 8, 2021 6:06 pm

Replies: 31

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Thanks so much!  I just joined.  My reddit name is same as my name here.  Looking forward to connecting.

Support » Do you feel like a victim? » December 8, 2021 5:57 pm

Replies: 49

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Momoftwo wrote:

New to website, but I am so depressed and lonely. I was married for 34 years and my husband did not have sex with me for over 27 years of the marriage. I chose to ignore it don't ask me why. Low self esteem is all I can say. He recently died from a heart attack at 61 years and at his funeral it was a lot of gay men who chose not to talk to me. I am sad and depressed and hoping this forum can help me accept the passing of my husband who I am thinking didn't love me and I because of my Catholic faith chose to look the other way.

Hello.  I feel your pain.  My husband and I were only married for 6 years, it was a second marriage for both of us.  I found out after he died that he was bisexual and had been having sex with men since he was in his early 20s.  I also chose to ignore the lack of sex.  My husband died from a cardiac event in August of 2020.  I wonder every day if he loved me.  It tears me up inside because I absolutely adored and would have done anything for him.  My husband was 55 when he passed.  I too am hoping that this forum can help me because I have burned through 4 therapists since August of 2020 and I feel like I am no further ahead.  I feel lost.  I have questions that will never be answered because my husband is no longer alive.  I hope we can support each other here.  I question everything we had.

Our Stories » A second marriage for both, he was the love of my life » December 8, 2021 5:51 pm

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I married my second husband in December of 2014.  We both had been married for over two decades to other people, and met at a restaurant when we were both divorced.  We were both in our early 50s at the time.
I could not believe this man.  The kindness he showed me was unbelievable.  We seemed to really connect.  We shared so many interests.  I loved him with my whole heart.
We bought property and started our life together.  In August of 2020 he called me and told me he was having a "stroke".  He described the symptoms and I thought it was a heart attack.  I could hear that he was in the car driving.  I told him to pull over and call 911.  He told me what parking lot he was in and I drove there from work.  I found him in the car clutching his chest, telling me he was in so much pain.  The ambulance was on its way and I gave him 2 low dose aspirin.  I looked down at his phone and asked him if the code to open it was XXXX.  I knew I would need to call his close friends if he went to hospital.  He looked up at me and said "I'm sorry".
I was so panicked that I didn't give it a second thought.
He had a cardiac event which was not a heart attack.  He had emergency surgery by a vascular surgeon that night at 12:30 a.m.  They told me if he lived through the surgery that he would likely be fine.  I prayed that night harder than I ever have before.  The hospital called me in the morning and told me he made it through surgery and was in ICU.  
Unfortunately he never regained consciousness and I removed life support 7 days later.  He had a watershed stroke, and he had no brain function.
His mother and sister flew out from a few provinces over.  I was absolutely devastated.  When I walked our dogs I sobbed so hard that I could barely breathe.  I didn't think I could go on without him.
I went back to our apartment and looked for comfort.  I found a box of old phones in our den.  I looked through old photos and texts.  That brought me a small glimpse o

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