We were married very young and both come from extremely conservative religious families. My husband's older brother is gay and has been out for decades, his family is accepting of him. Long story short, when my husband began hormone therapy a few years ago, he spiraled into anabolic steroid addiction, realized he was attracted to men, became aggressive, and physically abused me. That was rock bottom. Once we had contact again, I gave him another chance, we agreed to open up the marriage for the sake of our kids. It's not working. He is still verbally and emotionally abusive to me, blames me for the decline of the marriage, denies the abuse, and has lied to our extended family and friends about the true reason for the decline of our marriage. I ask him almost daily for a divorce, he does not want to move out and he threatens me with dating women to make me jealous, says I'm not enough for him, he's very over defensive about being bisexual, not gay. He will not come out to our friends and family, and has deteriorated the relationship between me and my family. Our children have no idea.I'm completely stuck. I do not have a support network due to his lies and reframing of me as mentally unstable. I am a free lance contractor with limited work that has been home raising our kids for 15 years. I'm concerned that if I out him, I will once again not be believed and risk him using his resources and power against me. I believe he is also hiding money. I am completely stuck and terrified. At what point do I come clean with our extended family just to get help? 

My husband recently came out as bisexual. After years of turmoil, I have chosen to accept him and help him along his journey and he has been hooking up with men now almost weekly for about 2 months. I'm seeing a side to him I didn't know existed, happy for him because he seems real and authentic for the first time in 21 years but also very sad, scared, and not sure if I want to stay in this marriage, especially with 3 kids and a very traditional family background. I don't know if I want to keep "sharing" him with men. He insists this can work and he isn't gay - just likes to hook up with men too. 

I suspect he is actually gay but it's not my experience to label. Is there any good research or stories on truly bisexual mixed marriages with men that stay bisexual v men who end up becoming gay? I'm trying to decide if this is something I want to navigate long term and I know everyone's experience is different but there doesn't seem to be a lot of stories about truly bisexual men who came out later in life. 

I do NOT believe this is something he knew all along and hid from me but it's shocking how quickly he has adopted the bisexual label and how happy he seems when he is with men. Just looking for other perspectives and support on here of people who have had an experience with a bisexual spouse who did not become gay.