Yeah, I still think WTF every time I see my ex wife's face.  Like did that really happen and we are two years out and a year past divorce.  Divorce is where this is headed.  As a Christian I didn't like the idea of divorce either but as it turns out you can't say no.  So abandonment and porneia it is, and thankfully an acceptable reason to divorce and remarry in the future.  My advice is to work through the details of the divorce quickly while she still might have some guilt and you both might have a feeling of love to allow it to be amicable and fair for both of you.   I also dont advise sitting around remembering the good times or what you liked about her, that's not doing you any good in breaking your attachment.   I suggest focusing everything you disliked and all the crap she put you through.  Being attached to someone who is emotionally checked out is painful as hell.  You can do this, there is a place in the future where you will be happy again, but you have to work to get there.  Take it one small step at a time.

When I search "my wife is a lesbian support" in google the AI directs me to OurPath.   The OurPath website is in the top three.   If I search "my wife came out as a lesbian support" I don't see ourpath.   It might be wise to consult a company that specializes in improving a websites searchability in search engines.   The name is not that important.   I didn't have any idea what a straight spouse was on D-day.   The reason why there may be less activity now is because there are more or better options now for communication, such as Reddit (despite Reddit's obvious problems).

gwendolyn_C wrote:

Yes, I am an ally of the LGBTQIA community. I am not an ally of anyone being deceptive and hurting others based on their sexual preference. The behaviors from most of the stories in the forum are based on selfish reasons with no regard for the straight-spouse. We also don’t hear many stories of the one who caused the damage coming back to apologize to the straight-spouse sincerely! That’s my problem - no accountability, no remorse, just happy you came out!

My ex apologized after she told me and we had gone through couseling.  Ugly crying and all she shook and cried as she hugged me and told me how terribly sorry she was.  I also have no evidence she cheated on me, just thought the gay thing could be ignored or fixed if she had a good enough husband.  Still, she totally screwed my life and my children's lives up, so every day I am hurt and get passed at her and choose to forgive her and move on.  I don't know how that helps anyone else but there it is.

If my ex wife found a nude picture of a woman I worked with that would be evidence enough that I was having a relationship with her.  You have your evidence right there but I think its normal to always want more.  You could install parental controls on your home internet router to gain visibility to websites visited, but its still easy to talk yourself out of what you know in your heart. You might consider reading Unseen-Unheard: Straight Spouses from Trauma to Transformation.   All of our stories might be different, but they have a common thread.

I know, I felt the same way.  I would wake up at midnight and leave the room to cry on the couch until I was exhausted and sleep for an hour before getting up for work, and I did that for weeks.  Give yourself some time to process the grief, it does get better.  Get into therapy to start processing your feelings, you can get through this.