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Support » Is anyone here with a Bi-spouse who's willing to let them experiment » April 24, 2017 3:36 pm

Replies: 4

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Some background, we have been married 25 years, he feels he is bi and told me 9 months or so ago.  He assures me that he has never cheated in our 25 years together, we have one child, 11 who is still at home.  He wants to stay married and has assured me over and over that he loves me and desires me.  That being said, he has started looking at men often and has begun visiting a gay bar with me allowing it.  Do I like it? Hell no, it hurts!  I guess what I am trying to say is anyone willing to try letting their spouse experiment if it means they can make the marriage work?  Let me say again my spouse believes he is Bi and not Gay, of course in a few years he could decide he wants a relationship with a man full time and decide he is gay.  If that is the case I would know there was no hope.  Has anyone been able to make something like this work?  I know that every story is a little different and it's those differences from mine that have made it hard to know what to do.  He's been very good to me, he hasn't cheated, he doesn't push me to allow anything, we talk everything over, it seems wrong not to allow him this side of his sexuality even though I have every thing to lose.     Please don't judge me too harshly, this has been hell on me and like most everyone on here not what I signed up for. 

Is He/She Gay » A gay ex-husband answers your questions » February 18, 2017 4:15 am

Replies: 2297

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Hello, I read a lot of your posts but not all 39 pages worth so someone may have already asked this, but I'm gonna throw it out again.  It seems from most of your answers you believe there aren't many bisexual married men that come out.  The bisexuality is essentially a stepping stone to realizing you are gay.  I am not actually saying you think bisexuality doesn't exsist , but that you are seeing signs that most of us ladies are either dealing with gay men or GMID. 
​When your wife wanted to stay together for the kids, did you consider it at all?  I mean it's always easier to stay with what's comfortable and what you know, instead of the unknown.  Did you every think her a fool, pathetic and clueless?  Harsh words I know but I'd truly like to know if our heartbreak was something you understood or our weakness for hoping. 

Support » Lostgirl - this thread is for you » February 15, 2017 11:48 pm

Replies: 8

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First, Thank you Daryl for putting my post in the right place.  Many thanks to everyone who has offered words of encouragement and understanding it has meant so much to me.   I have seen a counselor but it's only been a few times, just starting really, looking for ways to self soothe and figuring out what I need.  I immersed myself in everything I could read and listen to and learn from when my spouse told me about being bi-sexual, I had to understand as much as I could, but then I realized I was drowning myself in it all, it just became too much.  I so needed affirmation of what I have been feeling and people to talk, people who understand this because they have traveled the same road I am on.  One day at a time, hoping I learn the lessons that I am supposed to and become a stronger person because of this.
​Bless all those who are broken, Lostgirl 

General Discussion » Forum Jargon for Newbies » February 13, 2017 4:23 am

Replies: 38

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I found out last August that my husband of 25 years believes that he is bi-sexual.  Unlike many others on here, he has not cheated on me and says he never will.  He always had some fantasies and some kinks, but I believed that they were just that, fantasies.  He says he loves me and wants to stay married but I know he would eventually like to explore this side of his sexuality, I can't think about that happening right now and the fluidity of Bi-sexuality really scares me.  He has begun to notice men and he says it is only about the sex.  But how can he be sure once he is with a man, I don't know if I can do an open marriage and it feels wrong to deny him this side of his sexuality.  I don't want him to grow to resent me if I say I can't allow him to experiment.   I too have experienced the earth shattering pain that everyone on here talks about, the stages of grief, the PTSD the feelings of guilt, the depression, the anger.  I hate living in this limbo and hate even worse that this may last a very, very long time.  I know our chances of getting through this still married are statistically very low but I believe him and want to try.  I need others to talk to that are married to bisexual spouses.  Can this be made to work?  Sometimes I wish he was gay because I could leave, I am afraid he may decide that, "Yes, I'm gay." and I will have stayed in this far longer then I ever should have.  I am in Limbo, inside limbo, inside more limbo, trying to have hope and waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

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