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Strategies for MOM's » Friends » December 22, 2020 8:06 am

MamaBear
Replies: 5

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My situation is different than yours but parts of our stories overlap. Feel free to message me if you would like.

General Discussion » Please help me & guide me to those that have had similar experiences » December 22, 2020 8:03 am

MamaBear
Replies: 6

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If you are not already, I would begin seeing a counselor immediately. From the information you have provided and since you are not married I would run the other direction fast and furious! Do not move forward in the relationship and commit yourself to a lifetime of struggle.

Support » Confused » December 21, 2020 11:23 pm

MamaBear
Replies: 0

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I am not sure where to start. Six weeks ago I felt dead inside and wasn't sure I could continue to fight the depression. Now I feel alive and have a newfound confidence that feels so good, but I know it is based on the fragile ground of an affair.
Now that I have experienced being desired as a woman I do not know if I can continue to live with my GID husband as if nothing has changed. Yet I also do not want to destroy his life or bring the brokenness of divorce into our family.
Any thoughts?

Strategies for MOM's » My brain won’t shut down » December 21, 2020 11:30 am

MamaBear
Replies: 6

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Know you are not alone and keep reading here...there are a lot of resources. I'm new to this journey and in a different situation, so no specific advice.

General Discussion » Forum Jargon for Newbies » December 21, 2020 8:25 am

MamaBear
Replies: 38

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New here and this was a helpful post. Thank you!

Our Stories » I am the betrayer.... » December 20, 2020 11:44 pm

MamaBear
Replies: 0

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I will be 45 next month and have been married 15 years. My husband is 13 years older than I and he was honest about his past SSA and ongoing struggles prior to our marriage. These issues resulted in the end of his first marriage. Looking back I think due to my own baggage that he felt safe and I saw us both as broken people who fit well together. We met through our church and our faith has always been at the core of our relationship. Our beliefs left no room for him to be gay. The SSA was viewed as a sin struggle to be repented of and fought against.

Five weeks ago the unthinkable happened and I am now having an ongoing affair with a straight co-worker who desires me sexually. It is wonderful to finally be desired and beautiful to someone,but now that I have experienced it....I don't know that I can continue the way things are in my marriage... I know that my actions are morally wrong, but in this moment, I don't want to stop. At this point he has no idea and I am sure he would be shocked and deeply hurt. My desire is not to hurt him, but the affair has awakened something in me that is causing me to question my identity and beliefs.

Now I find myself in a place I never expected to be and my views are shifting. I see how emotionally draining it has been for him to live with this constant tension of desire that can never be fulfilled.  I am also realizing how this has impacted my view of myself and life in so many negative ways. I have so many questions and feel uncertain about what I want moving forward...I love him and we are great friends who enjoy much of life together....but I have come to realize that he will never give me the passion I desire. Right now I can't see the future without him and want stability for myself and our 12 yo son but the thought of living with a lack of being desired for the rest of my life is daunting. 

I am the betrayer and trying to figure out where to go from here. I am grateful for a safe place to share my thoughts, hear other's

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