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Support » Seeing the ex » March 2, 2018 12:02 am

Goonnowgo
Replies: 9

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Count,
It sounds to me like you are handling a terrible situation as well as anyone could. You sound strong. You are young with so much life ahead of you. It is hard to wrap your mind around the level of betrayal our spouses have shown us. I still struggle with that and I am 16 months post discovery of TGT and six weeks post my husband of 32 years moving out. I love your forum name. Actually that is my favorite fiction book. The story of ultimate betrayal but the Count prevails in the end. He is full of righteous wrath and rightly so. But in the end, he has justice.

Support » I chickened out...twice! » March 1, 2018 11:26 am

Goonnowgo
Replies: 7

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You are making progress. I believe you will feel better after meeting with an attorney. Just because he wants to know where you are going it doesn't follow that you are obligated to tell him.  You can meet with as many attorneys as you like!  Get another appointment. You don't have to tell him in advance. Just say you are running errands or you feel sick or whatever. Think of a reward for yourself after you get the appointment. Then another reward after you go. It is not easy. You can do it. If you can run a business you can do it. Go for it!  We are rooting for you.

Strategies for MOM's » The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together... » March 1, 2018 9:37 am

Goonnowgo
Replies: 30

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Wishing the best for you in your research and sending good thoughts your way. It is very ironic you had a prenup. So if he signed that maybe you can get a postnup signed now as a sign of his good intentions. Get him to put a signature on his promises. Not the ones he wants to make but the ones that will help you feel financially more protected.

Strategies for MOM's » The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together... » February 28, 2018 12:37 pm

Goonnowgo
Replies: 30

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I say let him love bomb you with something that will actually help you feel more secure. Many people get post-nups who plan to stay in the r ship.

Strategies for MOM's » The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together... » February 28, 2018 12:27 pm

Goonnowgo
Replies: 30

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Ellexoh,
Since he wants to keep you have you considered asking him to sign a post-nuptial agreement which could protect you financially?  You are in a great position now to get one signed. Perhaps this would give you financial peace for your future. He may be inclined to sign one now. They are legally binding.

Support » Dear Gary's Wife » February 22, 2018 8:18 pm

Goonnowgo
Replies: 20

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I feel it was extremely brave and kind of JenS to start this thread. She brought the focus back toward the support of the straight spouse. How many of us have struggled to stand up to the spouses we adored and gave so much of our lives to?  It is ghastly to be lied to so profoundly and then have to find the courage to say to the person we STILL love: "BS. You are lying." This is also the very last thing we want to believe. So are we seriously supposed to be supportive of Gary and not call him out on his rhetoric which is so clearly full of untruths?  I fully support this thread and I hope it brings someone the strength they need to stand up and find their voice in their own situation. JenS, even if Gary's wife never sees your thread you have spoken the truth. The truth is precious to every straight spouse because we get it so rarely.

Support » Dear Gary's Wife » February 22, 2018 1:03 pm

Goonnowgo
Replies: 20

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JenS

Great post!  I call BS on Gary.  He is lying to us in the same way our spouses lied to us. He makes me want to puke. He is full of himself and so condescending in his attitude to all the straight spouses here. Who is he to say if we were loved or not?  He seems to need something from us. He is not here to support anyone. BS Gary. BS

General Discussion » Anger, rage, disgust » February 12, 2018 9:27 am

Goonnowgo
Replies: 8

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Leah, yes the irony is so profound, isn't it?  My husband was the ONE person I allowed myself to trust implicitly. He would often tell me I should have more trust in people. God, the irony.

Support » SAHD devastated contemplating future » February 11, 2018 4:30 pm

Goonnowgo
Replies: 11

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Ditto what Rob said.  Rob, you are heroic.

Brett, your wife is many steps ahead of you. She wants what she wants.  Be wise.  I know you don't want legal advice so I won't tell you again to talk to three lawyers. I will now tell you to go talk to five lawyers. This is not lawyering up. This is research. There are legal options that don't involve divorce. You could get a post-nuptial agreement and stay married. You are financially dependent on your wife. Your kids are dependent on you.

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