Stronger,
Yes they call him Dad.  He’s only mentioned gender dysphoria to them that I know of.  He does not present as a female except with the lgbt events he goes to.  He’s in the military and has a little less than 3 years until retirement when I’m sure it will escalate.  He has to be a man until then. 

Also I have 4 kids (17 girl, 15 boy, 13 girl, 10 boy).  My 15 yo does not want to talk to me about his dad, barely talks on the phone with him and rarely goes to his apartment.  Currently my STBX has a one bedroom so the kids don’t spend the night with him and usually only go long enough to watch 1-2 movies.  When I asked my daughter the question about the nails she responded with boys paint their nails too.  She then said my 15 yo has painted his in the past with which he responded “as a JOKE”.

I don’t think my STBX has told them about maybe transitioning.  He still hasn’t decided I guess but is wearing as much women’s stuff as he can without being obvious I guess.  It’s obvious to me!

It sucks being the only adult!  I’m in the same position just no set agreement on support and custody yet.  I have been a stay at home mom for 17 years and never got a college degree (dropped out after 3 years when I got pregnant).  I have always been the go to parent when the kids had appointments or activities, which was fine since I didn’t work ouside the home.  While now that my STBX has decided he’s trans and lives in a 1 bedroom, I’m the one with the kids 24/7 with very little me time (I have 4 kids 17,15,13,10).  I also need to figure out college and work starting sometime this year.

As far as outing your ex, I was selective in who I told and still kind of am.  At the same time, I get wanting to blow up their world since they blew up yours.  I’m not sure it would help since they’re so good at denying everything.  I think your kids not being with her much may turn out to be a good thing.  It’s hard right now, but your kids see her for who she is and all she’s going to do is lose out on a relationship with them.  I personally would rather my kids not be exposed to too much of the pity party my STBX seems to have going! 

Take small moments for yourself when you can.  Therapy has been a must for me and talking to my sister almost daily.  Hopefully the new year will bring new adventures for you and your kids and lots of peace and happiness.

I would like off this awful roller coaster of emotions.  I was doing fairly well until I spoke to my trans STBX a week ago.  He cried talking about how lonely he is and he spends his days just trying not to off himself.  He doesn’t want a divorce (who does?) but is unsure he can put the trans thing back in the box.  He referred to himself as a “trans woman” which pisses me off as HE will NEVER be a woman in any shape or form!  It’s just gross!  It’s all about HIM! 

He also stated after I agreed to see a therapist with him that it has to be someone who “affirms” his identity but also my stance.  Does anyone like that really exist?  I feel like it’s just going to be more emotional hell and spinning of wheels.  I refuse to be the wife of a “trans woman” so I’m not sure we’ll go anywhere.  He said he wants to see what we can work through and maybe one of us will get our “miracle”.  Me getting my husband back or him getting me to stay married while he openly identifies as a woman!  I feel like I’m running the head of the psych ward every time I talk to him. 

Anyone else deal with the trans thing in such a way?  I worry that if he goes back to being the man I knew and loved that 10 years from now he’ll say f$&@ it and I’ll be starting over at 50 instead of 40.  As a Christian I feel compelled to give it a go but also feel like someone saying he’s Christian but twisting the Bible to fit himself isn’t worth my energy!  Any advice appreciated as my anxiety has returned with all this crap!

Duped wrote:

walkbymyself wrote:

Right, you could just put Ken in Barbie's clothes and save a lot of money.

 
Ha ha perfect for CDs!

Do they still sell gaslights? He could probably use one of those too ;-)

I know right.  I would add, don’t forget the size 13 heels and chicken cutlets.  They could also have a sex therapist to “affirm” his trans woman status.

Wtf?  Wrong board to be on if you are so in love and supportive of this crap.  Talk about a smack in the face to those of us dealing with a relationship of 19 years falling apart because of the mental disorder you’re supporting!  Please tell me this is a troll!  Go find a trans board where you can ask them all about their fantasy life and not here where we are hurt by people like your boyfriend!