Was the affair recent? If so, it is possible that she is feeling more attracted to women, that this side of her is more who she really is, if that makes sense. If so, she may be realising that she is gay, not bisexual. It is perfectly possible to be bi-sexual and in a commuted relationship with someone of the opposite sex but I'm not sure thats the case here.
Sorry, dont know if this is making any sense to you. As Lily says, with age things change. People who once felt bi-sexual can feel different. 
I know you care about her but think about your own happiness too. I have been where you are and I spent a lot of time helping my husband figure out what he was/what he wanted and forgot about myself in the process. I have come to realise, now we are separated, that he was so obsessed with himself that he cared very little about the effect it had on me.
Take care.

Listen, reality may seem really scary and it is to start with but, its better than what you have. I was scared of being on my own but I am so much happier. You just have to take that first step.

Is my anger serving a purpose? Mmm. I've thought about that all day and yes I think so. I liked what stronger said- Its helping me see "her in a new light, see her true self". Yes, I realise that he is not who I thought he was. He too promised a lot when he left and has basically ignored me, being hell bent on his new life.
I think the anger helps me protect myself a bit. I think in the past I was too sympathetic, too understanding, too easy going and was taken advantage of. I see it too in other areas of my life and one day I thought-"No, actually I object to that". So maybe its making me more assertive? 
It has pushed me to get the separation agreement done so that I can have no further contact with him. Its pushed me to get my job sorted. So a force for good I think.
Maybe theres a big difference then between anger and forgiveness. I can channel the anger to make me sort my life out but to forgive? Mmmm. I am hoping that in time I will no longer care and that will be enough.
But to actually wish him well? I am very far away from that.
 

I am 9 months post disclosure and nearly 3 months on my own. Its been a real up and down time. its better when we have no contact and I've realised that he doesn't really care for me. He's just too wrapped up in his new life. You know that box they keep TGT in? I think that now that he's out, he has a new box where he has put me and our marriage in. 
I have days where I feel overwhelmed and so tired but I would never have him back. So thats what I hold on to.
Ellexoh- so sorry about your Mum xx

I don't fit those categories Sean, with the exception of "your intuition onwards" which pretty much describes the last year. We had a very active sex life pre marriage and right up to when the kids were born. It was pretty good to start with, although the years when our children were small right up to when they left home were difficult. I know know thats when he started looking at porn, when our youngest was only 5. It coincided with our getting our first home computer.
It picked up a bit after the kids had left although I dont think I was ever really satisfied.

I've just read this back and realised something I hadn't noticed before. We were married nearly 27 years and the problems started after only 2 years! Holy crap. I hadn't worked it out before. I then had (let me work this out again), 19 years of intermittent mostly unsatisfying sex. Bloody hell. Followed by ok sex for the last 18 months. So that makes 3 and a half years out of 27? Have I got that right? 
Oh and one other thing I've just realised. He used to "accidentally" try anal only move it when I told him. Jeez.
Thanks for this-its made me look back honestly.

Oh and I've just ordered my first vibrator! Lol.