Several months ago, my long term boyfriend suddenly out of nowhere said "he loves me but isn't in love with me" and I don't know if he was trying to say that he was gay.  He never explicitly said that he was questioning his sexuality or came out as gay.  To my knowledge, he still isn't "out" since the break up several months ago.  Typically, when closeted gay boyfriends/husbands break up with their female partners, do they come out right then and there as their reasoning or do they say something like this?  I've tried to do more research on this and I've found that a lot of times the closeted gay partner won't be the one to end things, but rather the straight partner will suspect or find confirmation about them being gay and then end things.  And other times, the closeted gay partner comes out right then and there to their straight partner.  What do you guys think this phrase means in my context?

A little bit of background/red flags:
- history of unexplained depression
- very bad mood swings
- wanting to be alone
- very keen on appearance and clothes
- did not orgasm during sex with a condom but rather hand jobs/blow jobs only


Thanks for the help.

I apologize if this is TMI to be posting on the boards but I would like a second opinion.  Would a closeted gay husband willingly (and seemingly excitedly) be able to perform oral on his wife? Another question- would he be able to be turned on by his wife, just by looking at her/kissing her? Again, sorry if this is too private to be asking on the boards, I just don't really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff.

Hi there. I’m wondering if you think these are red flags. Thanks I’m advance for the insight!

My partner recently ended our relationship suddenly saying he isn’t in love with me anymore (but that he’ll always love me) and that he can’t give me what I deserve. He’s been suffering from depression due to what I thought was a bad job situation and a toxic previous relationship. I don’t really know if there’s more to it than just those 2 factors, for example perhaps he is questioning his sexuality. We did have a very active (and good) sex life. He would initiate most of the time. However, he never finished from sex and always needed a hand/blow job to finish. Granted, I never finished from sex alone either, and he would always make sure I was taken care of first before himself. Perhaps some guys just prefer oral/hand jobs? I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if you think these might be red flags.

My significant other of 2 years recently ended our relationship out of the blue...well I suppose not so out of the blue.  He would frequently bail on our plans and even tried ending our relationship a few months prior, although we talked things through and things got better.  On the times we did see each other (lived separately, unmarried), we always had sex and it was very passionate.  He was romantic and always made me feel very loved.  We shared a beautiful connection.  I guess my red flags would be 
- his frequent cancelling of plans. This stemmed from him being depressed for most of the year. I really don't know the cause of his depression, nor would he really want to ever tell me exactly what was going on.  He always assured me it had nothing to do with me or our relationship, but rather he just had a lot of unresolved issues from his past and had very low self-esteem.  
- we had sex frequently, but he never would finish from penetrative sex (neither would I). He initiated most of the time, and would get hard just from kissing me. However, he could never finish inside of me and always needed me to finish him off with a hand job or oral.  He ALWAYS finished me off before I finished him, either from oral or touching. He seemed interested in doing so. I don't know if I'm overthinking this one or if straight guys may actually prefer this. 

These 2 things (prolonged and unexplained depression and the lack of finishing from PIV sex) leads me to question that maybe this is why he ended things so suddenly between us. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!