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Support » Divorce process - How to have a Fault or No Fault? » December 20, 2020 12:54 am

Scrupulous
Replies: 23

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Document everything! Dates, time, photos and if you can possibly record (on tape) anything, DO IT! Keep a calendar as if it's your life...Because it is! Stay strong, patient and shop around legally and even if you can't use the evidence in a divorce at the moment courtroom. ( It's your armour and reminder of moving forward, not just for yourself but others and maybe for a legal system that needs to change and can by your own (and our diligence) in the matter. 
I wish you the best! 

Is He/She Gay » What were red flags 🚩 to you ? » September 23, 2019 7:32 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 49

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1. Your gut says something is "off".
2. In any settings that involve other men, where his eyes rested the most and what body part he rested them on. Men were the first he looked at and his eyes always grazed their chest and backside.
3. The number ONE lookout:  Eye contact with other men. He always tried to make, hold and would adapt a dreamy/heavy lid look to get their attention.
4. The smirk. The small 'knowing' smirk half smile when he caught their attention and the same came from the men who were into the 'disgusting game'.
5. The nod. A slight nod came next from either or both. (More defined than a normal polite nod and involves the eyes.)
6. The spin. They may turn to do a double take and try to recapture the moment or look for other signals.
7. The crotch grab or quick scratch. This comes with eye contact and can be a signal for the type of sex they are looking for.
8. Running fingers through hair and looking away after eye contact. Eyes looking possibly in the direction to meet. Another signal.
9. Tail feather: One hand finger flutter by rectum to signal they are a 'bottom' and like to be entered. Also sudden pant pull up from the back is another 'bottom' signal.
10. Lingering. Parking lots, Malls, and most recreational parks they will use these as hookup areas if they are not using mobile gay apps. If they are parked they will dangle one arm out the window and twist the wrist as an open sign for 'play'.
11. 'Hand in the pocket' One hand in the pocket while walking around trying to catch other signals and eye contact is the new norm. Once another mimics, other signals are given. 
12. Limp dick. (Because you don't have one)
13. Gay Porn/Pix
14. Computer/phone secretiveness. 
15. Bad Breath. Rancid actually. This is because they are a nervous wreck and men who 'take in' other mens privates/ejections and so forth emit a foul odor since the body doesn't accept it as normal.
16. Understanding of any gay humour or 'inside' jokes that may be oblivious to the str

General Discussion » Your experience with lack of affection and intimacy? » April 26, 2019 12:51 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 51

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I noticed my X use that term 'babe' several times to other men. And heard it from a select few other guys that I questioned were GID. To me when another man calls another man 'babe' or 'hon' or 'baby', my automatic assumption is that they swing the gay way. Or is this a normal thing?
Men? Your thoughts please?

General Discussion » Gaslighting-What it is, Who has experienced it... » March 18, 2019 6:06 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 16

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I'll never forget sitting on the beach and having a deep meaningful discussion with my future "prince charming" that couldn't get enough of me. As we talked his eyes kept averting toward a couple of men that walked along the sand. I assumed they were gay by the closeness between them. I noticed my 'prince' could no longer focus on our conversation as he seemed to be totally engrossed by the two. At first I figured he was questioning the pair as I was, but when he locked dreamy eyes with the more handsome one, held the gaze with a little smirk at the corner of his mouth and quickly grabbed his crotch, I knew otherwise. 
After they passed and while 'prince homo' was getting a good look at their asses, I said, "Uh, you think those two guys were gay?"
His résponse, "What guys? I was only listening to you."

That, my friend is gas-lighting. There are many other forms. But as Rob said, it's demonic.....because as far as I'm concerned, they are and will do anything to glaze over the truth of just how putrid they are inside.

Support » He's back at it! » March 18, 2019 5:43 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 13

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OMG Roo, copy, print and save everything you can and get to a lawyer ASAP! It doesn't matter if it's a no- fault State or not, that MF is putting your health at risk! The mental abuse is an additional factor. You WILL survive this financially and be so much better off once you have that freak out of your life! You will not be alone because there will be so many people reaching out to you when you open yourself up to others about what's going on. TRUST ME! We all care for you and have your best interests at heart. 
You know how to reach out and have the info you need. 

Support » Why am I stuck? Why so conflicted? When deep personal values collide-- » March 17, 2019 5:58 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 7

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In the sense of the word STUCK that we are referring to:
Stuck is trying to wrap your head around something that makes no sense to you or most normal people.
Yet you, the one with your feet sinking deeper in a mire that you'll never comprehend, fight without full capacity to 'fix it' or tirelessly educate yourself on how to with the 'proper love and understanding' expected on 'CHUMPS' like us.
LOL..In kinder words, " Fix yourself by prying your feet from the 'mire' of the one that sunk you there..
(or in CL words; get our own heads out of their a**) and GO NO CONTACT!
That, my friend is the ONLY way to heal and begin fresh because we are NO LONGER STUCK WITH THEIR PROBLEMS!!!
Ahhhhhhhh! Freedom at last...
Trust me and I'm sure there are millions of others that would agree. You WILL get better and come out STRONGER!
XOXO

 

Support » At least you don’t have kids.. » February 4, 2019 7:37 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 10

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Deb..You will get there. Don't forget that the family you have are still here and love you, 
Perfection comes with the reality that nothing is perfect on this earth. 

 

Is He/She Gay » What does “A little Bisexual even mean”? » February 4, 2019 7:18 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 15

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I agree lily..
From what I've read, Kinseys search and 'polls' were partial to those that had homosexual tendencies or actions..
> Prisoners with a need that had nothing to do with an orientation but 'hey I've reached the bottom..what worse can I do attitude?!" was a big portion of his research. I think it's callled 'situational homosexuality. 
> Bi-sexual people where also a big portion of the poll. 
> True closet cases that were struggling with their own reality were summoned and favored for his research to come to a decision that gained him more fame than he deserved.

Reality is that most people that aren't even thinking in those terms aren't going to bother to react to a poll or research that doesn't pertain to them..

I'm straight. Why think or willingly put an image or thought in my head that could lead me otherwise?

I'm happy and content with the straight path I'm on. I don't give a shit if others think I'm old fashion, outdated or 'frigid'. When the right straight man comes along...(or if lol), his boat will be rocked and I'll still be able to stick to my morals and values.

I'll slide my glass and clink to those on the straight path. It's a beautiful thing!

By the way..Pheonix, your name says it all and congrats my friend! I'm soooooo very happy for you. ;} 
 

Support » Faith and hope » January 19, 2019 3:03 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 21

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Estella I love Psalms. Lots of Prayer brought to mind these Biblical verses and songs. Psalms 26:4&5- "I do not associate with deceitful men and I avoid those that hide what they are.../ I hate the company of evil men and I refuse to associate with the wicked." The whole song is beautiful and for me a necessary read.
It reminds us that we don't have to allow ourselves to be with the ones bringing us down and shows whom we should be drawing closer to and relying on for support and help.
Tie that in with Romans 1:24-32, Lev 18:22, 1 Cor, 6:9... You'll get the picture. Those are just a few that keep me strong and determined to see the ones that cause the hurting are beneath us and have actions that are condemned by the one who knows all.

Support » My Husband says he is Bi, but doesn't have to act on it » January 9, 2019 7:31 pm

Scrupulous
Replies: 6

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FML , I wanted to comment on your post so it doesn't get lost in the madness. Speaking of madness, I'm so sorry you are in this. It sounds as if your man is really bisexual.....that is at the moment. 
If you both are young, and if he is in the young stages of this...which doesn't sound to me like he is since he admitted to trying to initiate but failed (lie..he didn't fail), he is coming to terms with who he is.
By warning you that he's going to flirt and if he's already gently coerced you to 'play' out some part in a sexual manner, then he is grooming you for the next stage of 'his' discovery. Which will be trying to introduce a man into the bedroom. 
Can you live with this? Can you accept that he will not change and his obession with this, NOW that he's come OUT to you will only get worse? Are you willing to open up your marriage to his fetish (btw it's not a fetish..it's who he is.) If you read enough here and ANYWHERE that this is the case all your questions will be answered if you follow the typical outcome of each of them. 
I'm sorry sweetie but the future doesn't look bright with him in your life. But think back and in all honesty, was it really that great? These men usually make up for what they are doing or feeling shame for by being Mr wonderful. But when he asked you if you told anyone that is a glimpse of how wonderful he will continue to be if you keep his closet safe and quiet. As soon as he knows you are done Mr Nice guy changes into what you don't want to know.... a big selfish asshole. I hope you are young. You can get through this easier than older and discarded. 
Here's wishing you all the best sweetie.

"[color=#000000]Am I throwing away a good marriage that can be saved? =
NO.
 Is sticking around only delaying the inevitable hurt that will follow?=
YES.
  I'm not interested in anything but monogamy.=
HE ISN'T and preparing you for the opposite.
  I don't want to hold his hand and be his stepping stone any longer.=
NOR SHOULD YOU. THIS IS

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